Simply Misunderstood

2010-05-09T01:46:00.002+08:00

Brings back the memories...

jeriel has been added to the conversation.

[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
HAYYYYYYYZ
jeriel says:
hey!!!1
grats jeremy on getting gold!
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
haha thanks...you got gold also no big deal haha
wonder if ivys here
jeriel says:
haha
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
next sunday dinner getogether shld be fine but need to confirm with her
she never reply me
jeriel says:
haha ok
but try to make it at abt 6 can
cause my book in usually is 2200
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
i'm flexible...think she is too
jeriel says:
haha
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
so we need to nail down what place and what time
jeriel says:
ok good
ok
any suggestions?
oh ya place we decided alr right
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
hmm the flamingg mangos thing rite
jeriel says:
yep
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
im okay la just think 20++ a bit too ex
but once in a while......i wanna ask v on her opinion
jeriel says:
oh ok
it's not 20 ++ l
la~
maybe 16?
20 max la if you dont order too ex
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
that time u told me 20 ++
jeriel says:
i was just preparing you for the worst
haha
20plus is still possible if we order too much
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
hmm ok...or if we add in some wine?
jeriel says:
hmm then 20plus is sure hit one
are you comfortable with that?
if not we can always find cheaper alternatives
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
with wine i'm prepared to pay 20++
jeriel says:
yup
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
hokay...ivy still not replying...lets try nudging

You have just sent a nudge.

jeriel says:
haha

jeriel just sent you a nudge.

Ivy says:
oi

justcame back
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
worked
jeriel says:
hahahhaha
hahahhaa
VVVVVVV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg too emotional
Ivy says:
haha

too emotional

wah, want to drink wine ah

jeriel says:
haha too long nvr talk to you alr
Ivy says:
haha
yup yup
how are u guys enjoying army
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
yeyayea
Ivy says:
my hols just started
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
can't wait to ORD
jeriel says:
haha field camp sucks!
Ivy says:
yayness!
haha
field camp...
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
field camp sucks is right
jeriel says:
haha i so want to be a girl
hahahaha
Ivy says:
haha
girl girl
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
right you would make a very interesting girl
Ivy says:
haha

a girl who would get ippt gold

so anyways, where are u all goin for uni
jeriel says:
haha
Ivy says:
Jeriel, i just saw ur brothers' pics on ur facebo
haha
so cute!
jeriel says:
NUS (hopefully)
Ivy says:
and they have grown up
jeriel says:
really
Ivy says:
haha
jeriel says:
i'm cute too right
haha
Ivy says:
NUS wad course
jeriel says:
FASS
you>
Ivy says:
Jeriel, u're extremely cute, so cute that u go past the max for cuteness and go back one round to min
haha
jeriel says:
hahahahha
Ivy says:
FASS...wow
wad u plan to do
jeriel says:
that just makes me extra cute
Ivy says:
i'm doing bioengineering in ntu

jeriel no shame
haha
jeriel says:
i'm doing philosophy
Ivy says:
where
jeriel says:
haha
NUS la
Ivy says:
FASS
jeriel says:
yes
Ivy says:

i tot u wanted to go overseas or something
philosophy
wah
jeriel says:
actually my army camp is just beside NTU
haha
yea i wanted to but my grades cant make it
Ivy says:
ooooh
Jeremy, u leh
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
im headed for NTU EEE...but not sure if i might change next year
Ivy says:

EEE
actually very competitive there leh
u're interested in engineering isit
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
no prob..i thrive on competition
Ivy says:
haha
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
yep
Ivy says:
haha
loads of foreigners there
wad u plan to work as nxt time engineer
Jeriel leh become a philosopher psychologist
I'll probably be working in biology related fields
jeriel says:
haha i'm going to be a businessman
haha
Ivy says:
are u serious
jeriel says:
entrepenuer or however you spell it
yup~
haha
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
business----philo???
Ivy says:
psycho everyone into giving u business ah
haha
[PhOeNiX]. 2nd YEAR IPPT GOLD SOC PASS! ORD LOH! says:
but philo
Ivy says:
use philo to psycho
haha
jeriel says:
haha philo is to understand the human condition
nothing to do with business
philo is my own interest
[PhOeNiX]. says:
EHHHHH why not take busineszs then?
jeriel says:
business is what i'll succeed in
haha
Ivy says:
wah, so confident
jeriel says:
haha
yup!
cause running other people's business bores me
and i wanna use my time to make my own money and not someone else's
Ivy says:
haha

maybe u should test waters by starting a small business while still studying
as training

jeriel says:
yup i aready did
Ivy says:
wad
wad business
jeriel says:
and it's going well
e-commerce
Ivy says:
elaborate pls

jeriel says:
selling stuff online la
Ivy says:
let me guess, tech stuff
jeriel says:
nope
printed tees
but it's still in the infant stages
Ivy says:
o
jia you jia you
jeriel says:
so we're selling thru recommendations only
haha yup hanks
thanks~
Ivy says:
hanks
[PhOeNiX]. says:
HANKS
Ivy says:
i'm currently searching for a 2 month temp job now

cos hols
[PhOeNiX]. says:
next time i want tees i know who to look for
Ivy says:
yaya
how much ah 1 tee
jeriel says:
haha but it's our original design
dunno if you will like
Ivy says:
what's ur website
jeriel says:
i think 10 to 15 a tee
nope we're designing the webbie now
so no website
but selling on a super micro scale now la
so far we sold like 3?
haha
testing only
haha
Ivy says:
3 sets
not bad la
just early stages
jeriel says:
yea
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
just to get the feel of it la
Ivy says:
so u all still go to church regularly?

jeriel says:
yes of course
do you?
Ivy says:
i think jeremy does
i tink i saw his pics on facebooK with church mates
yups, me too
great!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
ehhh im still here you dun need to think you can ask me
Ivy says:
!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yep yep i do
jeriel says:
aha
Ivy says:
funny ah
jeriel says:
ok
Ivy says:
i tot u were away

jeriel says:
you guys attend the same church right
Ivy says:
jeriel, i tink jeremy is still here!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
na but you both type very fast
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
oh ya not
Ivy says:
nopes
jeriel says:
jeremy is still at charis?
Ivy says:
charis
jeriel says:
see i rmbr!
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yep...u can rmb my church?
Ivy says:
wah, from p6
jeriel says:
charis assembly or something
Ivy says:
paya lebar
[PhOeNiX]. says:
not bad not bad
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
haha
of course
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
or maybe u checked facebook
Ivy says:
nopE@ !!
i rmb lor
u rmb my church
[PhOeNiX]. says:
i rmb urs
jeriel says:
haha
Ivy says:
i can't rmb jeriel's church
[PhOeNiX]. says:
but i cant rmb jeriels
jeriel says:
i rmbr loh
Ivy says:
whoops!
!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
sorry jeriel
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
haha no worries
most ppl dont also
Ivy says:
Jeriel, rmb goin to my house to play catching

jeriel says:
WAIT
Ivy says:
my house kena enblock when in sec3 man
sadded
jeriel says:
V you comfirmed sunday can dinner?
yes of course
huge ground
Ivy says:
wad day ah
jeriel says:
and a lousy swimming pool
Ivy says:
16 may
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yes i rmb too haha...played with ky also
swimming pool with a lot of leaves lol
Ivy says:
oh my! u rmb playing with ky
how u rmb

[PhOeNiX]. says:
can la haha
Ivy says:
ya, swimming pool a lot of leaves
jeriel says:
haha we have good memories
[PhOeNiX]. says:
my memory still can make it
Ivy says:
i have fond memories of playing wrestling by the pool

[PhOeNiX]. says:
anyhow ky was in ajc with me also so we did talk abit
jeriel says:
V rmbr we challenging pull ups in Pri school
haha
Ivy says:

that was uber long ago

[PhOeNiX]. says:
haha yea so maybe we shld challenge again
Ivy says:
u and jeriel challenge ba
jeriel says:
haha i think i'll lose
[PhOeNiX]. says:
hor ippt gold one
Ivy says:
u must give me 6months to train b4 i challenge again
now super chui
[PhOeNiX]. says:
no le...my max maybe 14 now...
Ivy says:
exams never exercise sia
jeriel says:
haha my company has a girl trainee leh
Ivy says:
cca also super slack in physical
[PhOeNiX]. says:
EH REALLY
jeriel says:
haha what CCA?
yea
Ivy says:
canoe polo
jeriel says:
wah
pro!
Ivy says:

girl trainee
must be super man

jeriel says:
haha she's 26 yrs old
and she acts exactly like a guy
haha
Ivy says:
woah!
jeriel says:
like seriously
Ivy says:
butch ah
jeriel says:
yea i guess
Ivy says:

oh wells
[PhOeNiX]. says:
canoe polo where got chui
think ur fitness maybe better than both of us
jeriel says:
haha yea
Ivy says:
well, compared to dragonboat, its 95% less physical

canoe polo is 90% about skill
ya, that's why the focus is on skill
jeriel says:
i got a national dragonboat potential in my section leh
super buff
Ivy says:

ya, super fit right
ya lor
jeriel says:
yea
Ivy says:
i tink i've only seen kah ying once in ntu
i think

[PhOeNiX]. says:
not in contact with her anymore?
Ivy says:
i've seen nafisah 3-5times
erm...not really la

just hi bye
jeriel says:
haha
Ivy says:
but i think should be quite easy to re-establish the friendship
if i put in more effort

i won't be in singapore for the 2nd half of the year
going for exchange
jeriel says:
where?
Ivy says:
so fast

to US
jeriel says:
wah!
Ivy says:
super expensive though
ouch
for my parents is ouch ouch

jeriel says:
ouch
[PhOeNiX]. says:
thats fast....6 mth attachment...very lucky le haha
Ivy says:
YEOuch!!
not attachment
its doing my yr 2 sem 1
attachent=job
yups
jeriel says:
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
haha ok
Ivy says:
goin from Aug 10 to Dec 29
abt 5 months
jeriel says:
by the time you come back i finish pro term alr
haha
Ivy says:
pro term
eh, how come the other time the class gathering u both couldn't make it
some army stuff ah
jeriel says:
yep stuck in camp
[PhOeNiX]. says:
i had guard duty
jeriel says:
was in confinement i think
Ivy says:
ooooh

my brother just ORDed ytd

jeriel says:
haha good la
Ivy says:
he's starting work on mon le
shi
shioK
[PhOeNiX]. says:
oohs i rmb ur bro
jeriel says:
i also want to ORD!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
I ORD first!
Ivy says:

Jeremy, how's ur sis
[PhOeNiX]. says:
still fine
shes left with 2 years of schling
jeriel says:
good to hear hat
[PhOeNiX]. says:
she rmbs u jeriel
Ivy says:

her name is Melody right
if i rmb correctly
hmm
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yeap you got good memory
Ivy says:

last time go ur house so often
of course rmb

jeriel says:
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yep...not only visit...seem to recall both of u called my home phone pretty often too
jeriel says:
haha
did we?
Ivy says:

la..not everyda
y
but still relatively often

like 'eh! come down and play leh'

jeriel says:
haha
Ivy says:
Jeriel, i still rmb eating lunch at ur house
and the egg with daoyou
in ur kitchen
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yaya
jeriel says:
haha really
we still do that
Ivy says:
i rmb walking very far to ur house lor
10-15mins

jeriel says:
haha dont have la
[PhOeNiX]. says:
i rmb going to ur hse and playing monopoly with u and ur bro
jeriel says:
my house is just next to school
yea jeremy i rmbr that too
[PhOeNiX]. says:
NOOOOO my house is NEARER
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
and i use to go your house
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
though i forgot what i did there alr
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
ehhh i also cant rmb what u did there
Ivy says:
find random stuff to pay
play
and explore Jeremy's house
cos got a lot of treasures
jeriel says:
haha yea mess more like
haha
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
and his terrapins!
Ivy says:
oh ya! i think so...
[PhOeNiX]. says:
mess and terrapins still there
Ivy says:
was there a fish tank by the door
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yep...all the fish have since died
jeriel says:
yea
and his random pets
Ivy says:
Huh mess and terrapins still there !!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
and the tank has been thrown away
yes yes haha
i collect a lot of junk....still do
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
haha
Ivy says:
B-E-A-utiful Memories!
jeriel says:
haha
my house has changed alot though
Ivy says:
lets go play monkey bar after school!

jeriel says:
haha
Ivy says:
just kidding
[PhOeNiX]. says:
lols
Ivy says:
ur house still same block and unit
jeriel says:
yep
but different interior design and deco
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yep for me...jeriel you're still one block and one carpark away from me rigfht?
Ivy says:

don't we have to cross the field to get to jeriel
house
[PhOeNiX]. says:
oh wait...thats 2 blocks and one carpark away
jeriel says:
yep
[PhOeNiX]. says:
9th floor right? or was it 12th?
jeriel says:
10ths
10th
[PhOeNiX]. says:
wah i think we can chat all nite...then next sun we can chat even more! haha
jeriel says:
haha yea
[PhOeNiX]. says:
V fallen asleep?
jeriel says:
haha
i'm reading facebook comments
Ivy says:
nopes
i'm just finding jobs online

jeriel says:
haha
for me it's still far away till i get a job man
[PhOeNiX]. says:
you already have one. youre employed by the SAF
Ivy says:

true
jeriel says:
that's not employment it's torture
Ivy says:
a job whereby most guys wanna quit but can't

[PhOeNiX]. says:
well they pay you to torture u
jeriel says:
haha more like they pay enciks to torture you
my encik's an ass
he act nice only
[PhOeNiX]. says:
at least you get paid, you have food, accomodation, insurance, 14 days of leave and endless possibilities to get charged
jeriel says:
haha
wow
so lucrative
anyway jeremy, after BSLC do we get leave?
[PhOeNiX]. says:
since ure going into entrepreneurship u shld learn from saf
ERM
jeriel says:
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
i had 5 days leave
jeriel says:
wah do i get that too!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
block leave...force us clear
jeriel says:
i want!
hahahahhahahha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
think they will give coz they need time to prepare for ASLC and the other vocations spec course
jeriel says:
yea good
i wasted my BMT block leave
[PhOeNiX]. says:
btw come arty join me le...then we can see each other in khatib camp
jeriel says:
haha oh i heard my coy 80% going armour
20% ASLC
i hope i go armour
[PhOeNiX]. says:
when does ur bslc end?
armour shiongz...you will shingz there
jeriel says:
i start on 19th april
i dunno when i end
now i'm just counting to the end of the week
haha
i dont bother about anything else
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
im guessing 11 june thereabouts
jeriel says:
idk
i just live for the next moment currently
[PhOeNiX]. says:
hmm i just rmb arty has only intake in oct so you prob wun go there
jeriel says:
i got gypsy next week
[PhOeNiX]. says:
ooh fun
jeriel says:
and wanderer and grandslam the week after
but i got assessed alr
so i hope it's grandslack
[PhOeNiX]. says:
HAHA same as me! grandslam was grandslack for me
2 days out of three days do nth
jeriel says:
serious?
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yeap
jeriel says:
i dont mind being the enemy
hahah
just sit there and shoot
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
i got assessed b4 grandslam...so first 2 days of grandslam i was enemy
then third day gotta be matador gunner
jeriel says:
ouch that sucks
for us we rotate the matador
lucky i'm not an organic weapon holder
haha
i'm bed 6!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
i was an m2o3
jeriel says:
haha shag right
m203 sucks too
[PhOeNiX]. says:
ok la
jeriel says:
wah you more zhai than me

[PhOeNiX]. says:
OK la
jeriel says:
wah my combat fitness really chui
SOC cmi sia
haha
[PhOeNiX]. says:
wads ur timing?
jeriel says:
idk
this friday doing full rundown
i swear SOC is the most tiring thing under 10 mins
even worse than 2.4
[PhOeNiX]. says:
yep
so thats why i feel damn shiok after clearing second year soc
haha ok its getting late
jeriel says:
haha
yep
i'm gonna crash
nights!
talk more on sunday!
Ivy says:
nights

yups yups
[PhOeNiX]. says:
so V next sunday dinner can rite?
Ivy says:
yup
anywhere also can
6pm can
jeriel says:
ok see you guys soon!
[PhOeNiX]. says:
we meet at northpoint?
jeriel says:
yes good timing
[PhOeNiX]. says:
jeriel has a place in mind
jeriel says:
i try to get the car
if not have to take bus
it's at sembawang
Ivy says:
where ah
i live in sembawang
jeriel says:
behind sembawang shopping center
[PhOeNiX]. says:
6pm enuf time for u to book injeriel?
jeriel says:
inside the estates
no need book
sure got space
Ivy says:

[PhOeNiX]. says:
nah i meant enuf time for u to go back camp by 2200
jeriel says:
ya should be can la
we finish by 8 la
then sure got time
Ivy says:
if u can't get the car, i think i can get the car..i hope

jeriel says:
haha ok we'll see la
Ivy says:
ok
jeriel says:
V your number got change?
Ivy says:
nopes
91065490
jeriel says:
my army phone is super weird
anyway ok i'll note down
[PhOeNiX]. says:
jeriel can pick me up and we meet u in sembawang
jeriel says:
yep
Ivy says:

jeriel says:
call you then la
[PhOeNiX]. says:
hokay
Ivy says:
urs is 98301010/

jeriel says:
ya
[PhOeNiX]. says:
6pm then
Ivy says:
OKOK
set
bye!
jeriel says:
bye!

jeriel has left the conversation.

YAYNESS to next sunday dinner!

2010-04-20T20:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes its hard to see beyond all the fog.

I told myself this two years would be for me to sort my life out, unconfuse myself...but so far the fog seems to be the same, as think as ever.

Recently the window for local uni applications opened and closed without me doing anything about it. And I still have no idea what to do for the rest of my life.

And more recently people have been telling me what a foolish choice I'm making by choosing NTU electrical engineering, especially with my grades. The typical response would be:

You got XXXX for your A levels?! Why are you choosing NTU EEE? You deserve so much better, you can get into so many better courses? Why waste the opportunity?

This reminds me of the same comments that I heard exactly 3 years ago:

"You got XXXX for O levels?! Why you go XJC??? You deserve so much better! You can get into ZJC, why waste the opportunity?"

And I remember the feelings of regret and subsequent indifference that followed the two years following. Which makes me draw the conclusion, if I make the same mistake this time round, I will have to endure the same feelings for 4 years, double the time.

And then on further rumination I realised that I chose AJC for the same reasons that I chose NTU EEE....which is that almost my whole life, my decisions have been largely made by others for me, but that in the end I have always managed to deceive myself that the decision came from me, that it was all my idea.

But now, I realise when its time for me to make a decision for myself I am at a total loss. Maybe thats why I appear so indecisive at times. Because I don't really know what I want.

So in my quest for answers to my mess, here is the first: I don't know what I want

I'm tired of searching. Sometimes I want to just go out and let myself loose....try ne things, explore possibilities...I don't want to wait for an answer anymore. I just want those desires to be fulfilled now. Because these days I feel that I'm just using up oxygen. I can't seem to find meaning in anything I do anymore.

Maybe thats why clubbing suddenly seems so appealing.

But I know that following the road to my paradise will just leave more heartache and pain....I've been down it before. So I'm trying to find the other road but I can't seem to find it either. All is foggy grey.

So now I'm playing chess with the Almighty...refusing to fight a losing battle so I'm trying to force a quick checkmate, but the other Player just seems to keep perpetual check me. Stalemate.

I don't want to play chess anymore. I want to move on

But I can't. Two feelings seem to reign my waking moments now...loneliness and boredom.

I can't stand it anymore.

Save me

please

2010-03-07T23:40:00.002+08:00

So one year has almost passed. And things have a way of coming back atcha the same way the earth does its thing around the sun.

I guess I should count my blessings, but I'm trying hard not to begrudge others theirs...God knows what I'm feeling now. Perhaps its also time to let go of that which I held on for so long...its time to part company, let go and let God.

And this is the time for me really to shut up, because there are far more urgent and critical concerns of others at this point rather than my petty issues. But sometimes I wish I just had one person whom I could pour everything out to. Never ever found such a person yet.

I could talk to God, but its not the same.

One year on and I'm still a sailess rudderless boat in oceans unknown. But I know God is there with me.

I just wish my boat could have more more person...life would be more bearable I guess

One more soul to tread the lonely road with me....and not just a visitor...

But who to take along?

Life's like a message in a bottle....only when its completed its sojourn on the high seas then can its message be read. Before that...one can only hope. and guess, and pray.

I need to pray more, trust more, and believe more

Believe that He makes all things beautiful in His time, not mine
Believe in a Blessed Ever After and a Well Done Good And Faithful Servant.
Believe...help me believe

2010-02-23T19:39:00.000+08:00

So tired out today...nearly got into a few blowups with some men in my unit

But physically I grow weaker, hopefully spiritually I grow stronger

2010-02-17T21:53:00.001+08:00

Something I posted on my Facebook which I think I'll just put here too.

A personal prayer that expresses my goals, wishes and hopes this new year
By tagging you I wish to encourage and provoke you to think
Just to share

Dear Abba Father

This new year
Full of promise and life
Many things I want,
But only few are needed
and they are the most important

First, dear Father
Grant me the patience to wait
The discipline to pray
The heart to intercede
And the spirit that daily faints
to be in Your presence
Grant me each day my daily bread
And the Water of Life
That I may continually feast
And never hunger again

Grant to me also
A heart of discipleship
Wisdom to guide, sensitivity to needs
My Balm of Gilead,
Grant it that I be a balm to the wounded and hurting
For this world many grieves abound
But only one Joy is sufficient
Give me a heart that weeps for the lost
Remove my complacency, my dismissive spirit
Help me not to judge, not to scorn, not to despise
But help me to be the bearer of Living Water
to parched souls,
cold hearts,
broken spirits
poisoned minds

The paths of life sprawl before me
Myriad, Variant, Transient
Yet whither do I turn
If naught without Thy counsel?
Dearest Shepherd may it be
that You be my compass and map
to shut doors that no man can open
and open doors that no man can shut
least of all myself
That You may lead me along paths of righteousness
Thy Will fulfilled
Thy Word obeyed
Thy Wisdom cherished
Till I reach gloryland

Teach me dear Lord
to see through Thy eyes
pray through Thy Will
care with Thy heart
worship with Thee enthroned
Keep me humble before thy Sovereign Will
Keep me grateful before Calvary
Keep me focussed before Thy Commission
That this year
And evermore
My life may be a sweet aroma to You

In Thou O Father, Son and Spirit
I give thee thanks
MAy it be doNE

2010-02-17T21:26:00.002+08:00

17 Feb 2010
Ash Wednesday
First Day of Lent

Bible reading: Matt 6:1-6, 16-21

The practice of faith

What is our motivation for acting out our faith? Here Jesus challenges our notion of Doing good works in order to win recognition and acclaim from the people around us. Comparing the approval and praise of men to "earthly treasures" that will perish in time, Jesus persuades us to aim for our Abba's approval, "the Father who sees in secret will reward you" and to place our treasure in heaven ie the approval of our Lord. We have to realize and seek to please God rather than men. Ultimately, if we serve to please others, our service and faith have no eternal value. Where our treasure is, there our heart will be also.

Applications:
1) Is my service in my ministry and my daily devotion to God genuine and focused on winning the approval of God, not man? Sometimes ministry can be demanding and I can get distracted by the form, not the substance. At the same time, I must be on guard that I am not serving to make myself more popular or attract attention but out of my love for God.

2) How much does other people's view of me affect the way I serve and obey God? Does the opinions of others, negative or positive, make me change my service just to fit them? In the area of outreach, do I just go through the motions to assuage myself, or do I really dare to provoke and challenge my friends out of love for them? Do I dare to make unpopular but Godly decisions?

Commitment:
Do not allow myself to be swayed by emotions or expectations in doing God's work.
Pray for my faith life to be real and genuine such that others around me will also be drawn to the Truth of God's love.

2010-02-16T16:10:00.003+08:00

First of all, don't ask about the blogskin

Secondly,
Ash Wednesday is tomorrow

Lent begins

This year a Lent like none other...at least for me

I will be using my blog to record down my reflections too

2010-02-07T17:07:00.002+08:00

So the Songwriting progresses.

So far I have 2 completed songs which I'm quite satisfied with, and many other bits and pieces here and there which I've yet to string together. My prayer is that my songs that I write are able to touch through hearts and draw them back to the Creator of man and music. For the purpose of creation, after all, is to give glory to the one who created it.

This year opens with much promise and much challenges, both for myself in ministry, discipleship and my outreach, and also for our church as a whole. A few of the goals I have this year(though they have yet to be planned specifically):

1) Win 12, disciple 12-self explanatory

2) Talk less, do more, listen more, care more

3) Deepen existing relationships with people

4) Deepen my communion with God

5) run a marathon

6) Write more songs

and some more to come.

1 year and 5 days left till ORD.

hopefully I will make the most of all the opportunities God sends my way.

2009-11-30T21:45:00.002+08:00

Recently, the draining feeling's come back

I suppose it was to be expected, coz Christmas is the time to get really really stressed...at least for me.

Christmas PArties, Youth Camp, Christmas Choir, fellowships, and to top it all off, having to come with unit life in a new army posting. Doesn't help much that the J2s are still finishing A's and the younger ones need guidance. not that i'm blaming anyone.

But its taxing, and sometimes though you know its not true, you feel like terribly alone and burdened.

And recently my output has been mega-outstripping my input. So i need to pay attention to my source of strength. I need to learn how to be a Mary once again. I've played Martha for too long.

But I know this one thing....for the rest of my time here I remain committed, and to my last breath I will fight on. Even if it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I was not commanded to be successful, just faithful.

And so I will carry on. And work to inspire, to unite, to challenge, to rekindle, to love, to care, to learn, to be teachable,to be Mary and sit at the feet of the Master.

At the end I want to hear "well done, good and faithful servant" from the only One whose praise matters to me.

I will go on.

2009-10-25T16:32:00.003+08:00

Its times like this, when you're down and out, when you start to secondguess your decisions, temptation comes knocking, her alluring voice enticing you to sweet surrender, to forbidden fruit. And the more you try not to listen, the more intoxicating her voice becomes.

They say army's a place where she can be easily found. In a sense yes, in a sense no.

Sometimes you wonder, aren't you giving too much of yourself already, haven't you done enough yet? Why do you feel that you need to sacrifice your time, your rest, your energy, your friendships....to pursue growth in a people, in a ministry where you have committed yourself in but not many others have?

You choose BS over class gatherings, service over a chance to enjoy the weekend. You choose to keep going when everything around you tells you it is foolishness to carry on. You look for encouragement, the LORD retains His silence.

And there are so many things you seem to be missing out on. The good things, the good life...time with friends doing normal stuff...

And the questionable things, like smoking, like swearing and pretending it doesn't really matter, like (God forbid) indulging in some things you shouldn't be seeing.

People tell you, everyone's doing it. Don't act so innocent all the time. One puff wouldn't hurt. One look wouldn't hurt. Come on. Just once.

Just once is as good as forever. Temptation's allure is strong.

You turn, turn, turn away, try to focus instead on the Author of your faith, and when it doesn't seem easy to find Him, you wonder, has the Author gotten writer's block? Leaving a half finished book...

And then frustration comes in. You ask: Why aren't there more workers in the field? If there were more people to help out in the ministry, we would all be suffering less and achieving more. You would have time to spend with your friends, your family, enjoy being with them. And also make a positive impact for the Lord on them. But no, you're stuck in suspended animation.

You start to question God's calling. Maybe you just imagined it. Maybe your ambitions were too high. Maybe you should just be a normal Christian, go to church, keep a low profile, maybe that way people won't brand you as a Christ fanatic.

You complain, complain, emo, emo. You don't lose hope yet, but you wonder what you've been doing wrong.

Then, the small voice of the Savior says: If anyone comes to me and does not his father, mother, wife, children, brother, sister and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

And you complain to God what an impossibly unfair high price it is. But then you remember, and you see...and you are silenced.

You see the nails that held Him there.

Because you are reminded, because there is no arguement, no injustice, yet no greater love and sacrifice than this.

And you remember with what price you were ransomed for. And with what love the pain and scorn endured, the gruesome weight of mankind's sin, even the rejection of the Father which must have hurt worse than hell.

And it keeps you going.

For now. Just for now.

2009-09-30T21:28:00.002+08:00

Last Saturday's worship team hosted a most upbeat and refreshing song...titled All Things New by True Worshippers. It was just so full of exuberance and joyful rejoicing that I had to find out more.

I was in for a little surprise.

Contrary to what I had expected, "True worshippers" turned out to be a band not from the States, or from Europe, where Christianity is by tradition one of the major religions, but surprise, they were from Indonesia

Surprising because you wouldnt expect Indonesia, where the vast majority is muslim, and where racial unrest is all too common, to have a rich enough Christian culture to produce....well

But here they are, testament to the Holy Spirit's mighty moving in the nations of the world. Enjoy, give thanks, and rejoice:)

2009-09-25T23:41:00.002+08:00

I'm having one of those inexplicable moodswings again

Inexplicable because I can't rationalise it, can categorize it, and anyhow, its not really my feelings involved, but rather i sense that it is my spirit. So its not a moodswing, its a spiritswing.

Certain things trigger it and its usually the same ones...so its more of my spirit is troubled rather than my heart

The reason? I don't know either. I suspect the reason can be found if I take time to enter what SPDS likes to call the "abyss of our being", the inward man, or the spiritual man...and there the answer can be found at the throne of God who indwells in our spirit.

But then again, I don't want to enter this abyss...this inner silence, inner darkness....partially because i'm lazy, and partially because I kind of dread finding out and hearing the answer.

Complicated.

I do know this much though...as much as the church is now at the turning point of change, my personal life too is also poised for change. Something big is going to happen, but right now, it seems both God and me seems to be waiting for each other to make the first move.

Praise God for this week though...looks like the anointing worked....so I will keep believing, praying, and labouring.

Let there be fruits Lord, and let them remain.
It's all I ask.
As for the other thing You seem to keep nagging me about...shall I make the first move, or wait for You first?

2009-09-21T14:02:00.002+08:00

Time is a dragonfly
Sometimes it flies
on iridescently blurred wings
Sometimes it crawls
Metallic legs creak

Time is a shadow
Ever growing
Longer, shorter,
The same each morning

Time is a gift
To treasure and keep
But also
To part with and give away

Time is an exam
endless rustling of pages
pens scratching on paper
a thousand focussed souls
red digits flashing
tick tock tick tock

Time is God's test
The topics are patience
trust, wisdom
The invigilators are
boredom, suffering, dryness
The passing mark is contentment
The reward is eternal

Time
Is created duration
Eternity
is uncreated dimension
Which will you live for?

A friend on facebook once made a comment: everywhere i look, i get the feeling that the world is advancing while we are stuck in stasis

I couldn't agree more

Recently, it feels as if my life has simply stopped while the rest of the world continues at its hectic pace. Friends are already in university, having new experiences, new lessons, new lives. Some are going overseas to study. Everyone seems to be advancing on with live while we are spending 2 years in semi isolation and statis

A few events this week made me realise how bad it had gotten

1) My cousin just celebrated his daughter's 1 month, and I had totally no idea that he and his wife were even expecting a kid

2) One of my close friends is leaving in a week and I realised I didn't spend as much time with her as I'd hoped.

3) I still don't know what to do with my life, even after these few months of praying

4) Events in church happen so fast I'm usually unaware of them until after they happen

My only hope is for my remaining 17 months that my life will progress and not remain in statis. Only this time I have to actively pursue purpose in not letting the ime just slip by.

So God help me.

2009-09-19T01:03:00.003+08:00

Just felt like sharing this cool song Yiggie intro-ed to me....its super funny and catchy, lighthearted and yet at the same time with a simple wonderful message of who God is.

If Much truth is said in jest, then more truth is sung in comedy:)

2009-09-09T20:08:00.000+08:00

Just came back from camp for a while to rest before booking in again.

I originally wanted to blog about matthew's farewell, but i'll think i'll leave that to the weekend

I just want to share a song that was performed for matt at the farewell...I guess they chose it because it reflected his life's desire, but strangely I feel that this song has also spoken to me....and made me realise a bit more about my heart's desire.

Here it is

2009-08-19T00:30:00.009+08:00

OK I decided to blog again because so many people have been complaining that my
blog is dead.

It's just that since army started for me there has been very little time for me to do

what I want.

I've already been enlisted for 5 months now and by the end of this week, I would have

burnt all my leave for the year. After completing my Basic Military training in mid

June, I was posted to the School of Infantry Specialists (SISPEC) camp in pasir laba

for my Basic Section Leader Course (BSLC) which lasted exactly 8 weeks. I passed out

of the course last friday and will be reporting to my new unit for my advanced

specialist course. "Specialist" is the term used by the SAF to classify sergeants and

warrant officers in the armed forces. So basically what all that terminology means is

that I am currently training to be a sergeant and will be promoted in 14 weeks time.

As for my posting, it couldn't be better. I was posted to become an artillery spec, so my next training phase will be in the school of artillery (SOAY) which is located at Khatib camp, which is only 20 mins away from my home. So when I got the posting I was immensely relieved and surprised and grateful to God as well. Also, the artillery course is significantly shorter (8 weeks to infantry's 13 weeks) and not as shiong as the infantry course...which most people ended up in. But I guess God is also giving me more time and energy to pursue my other life goals in this one and a half year more...which i will discuss in the next blog post.

Meanwhile....many things have been happening during my months in army that a
single blog post would not suffice to bare them all. One thing interesting I did during
my BMT block leave as to try baking. And this is what I tried to bake.

Durian puffs:P

Its actually quite easy to make, so after browsing through several internet recipes and
lugging home 5 durians from my neighbourhood durian store, I got down to work.
First, the pastry had to be baked, and this was the most disastrous part, because i was
too impatient to mix the water and flour bit by bit. Anyway this was how it turned out.

After that I prepared the durian fillings (durian pulp from 3 durians, a dash of honey
and sugar and a generous helping of whipped cream plus milk), and started filling the
pastries.

Don't know why I was scowling here...must be the light

Taste test by the household maitre'd...

And voila, finished product. I made 40 in all. Half of them went to my family (the occasion was father's day), a sixth went to my class kids in chariskidz, another sixth to auntie sandy and family(coz she mentioned to me once that she loved durian) and the last sixth to charis youth friends. And the very last piece, to someone special.

All in all, quite a success for an amateur baker. The richness and texture of the durian cream was perfect, not too watery, not too thick, and with a slight sweetsour tang
from the top grade honey I used. the pastry was also ok, but a bit too thick and there
were some with hardened bits like horns sticking out. but the paste itself more than
compensated for the shortcomings.The texture was further enhanced by the durian
fibre mixed in(since i used real, unblended durian pulp) which provided something
sweet to chew on.

Dear reader, at this point I feel it is appropiate to warn you not to drool on your
keyboard if you are already salivating:P

So ended a mini gastromonic adventure that took me 8 hours and 20 bucks in all
(approx). Next thing on the menu to try: cheesecake

Next blog post up on thurs or fri.

2009-04-12T23:39:00.002+08:00

Hallelujah, Jesus is ALIVE!

Today
Jesus rose from the dead
Today
We have victory over sin and death through Him
Today
We rejoice because He LIVES, and we can face the future unafraid and secure
Today
I end my life as a civilian for 18 years
Today
I prepare to go fight battles for nation
Today
More importantly, I go to fight battles for God

For my meditation during BMT

Near the Cross- Frances Jane Crosby

Jesus, keep me near the cross
There a precious fountain
Free to all, a healing stream
Flows from Calvary’s mountain.

Refrain
In the cross, in the cross
Be my glory ever;
Till my raptured soul shall find
Rest beyond the river.

Near the cross,
a trembling soul,
Love and mercy found me;
There the bright and morning star
Sheds its beams around me.

Near the cross!
O Lamb of God,
Bring its scenes before me;
Help me walk from day to day,
With its shadows o’er me.

Near the cross I’ll watch and wait
Hoping, trusting ever,
Till I reach the golden strand,
Just beyond the river.

2009-03-30T23:34:00.002+08:00

"What do you want to do with your life?"

This is stupid. In fact, it transcends stupidity, it's absolutely ridiculous.

NUS has started sending acceptance letters, interviews for the local universities have been scheduled, 3 and a half weeks have passed since A level results were released and I still haven't applied for any university.

And just when I thought I finally settled for engineering and was ready to apply, a 2 hour talk on saturday demolished all the work, all the deliberation, all my expectations.

So far the pastors whom I talked to (Pastor Gideon, Pastor Chiang, Pastor Kiancheng, uncle Aaron) have all advised me for and against differing engineering courses, often with slightly different views, but always based on a mix of interests, job prospects, flexibility

But Senior Pastor David threw in a whole new kettle of fish. A perspective which I never bothered to factor into my tertiary education equations.

On saturday, I finally managed to get some time to talk to him (two hours over lunch) about my courses. Reason I wanted to find him was due to a prior incident (which is too long to repeat now), and I wanted to get his advice without applying. And knowing that his time is very precious, I was quite glad I managed to catch him on saturday.

But then, it all was out of my expectations. Which it should have been anyway. "What do you want to do with your life? Not your job, not vocation, but your life."

He asked me that straightaway within 2 minutes. I couldn't give a straight answer. Because prior to this, I have always considered courses from the interest and future job point of view. But now he asked me to think on a totally different higher plane.

What do I want to do with my life? I want to be able to pursue a subject of interest, to be able and willing also to allow God to use me, and even possibly serve God fully. But no plan of action, no concrete goal I want to achieve by my life's end.

Many Christians seem to view serving God or allowing God to work through them by saying "God, what do You want me to do with my life?" In a sense that is definitely what God wants us to do, to enable us to be used as his vessels. But even more importantly, is the question that Senior Pastor posed to me. As if God himself was asking me "What do you want to do with your life? For me, for others?"

It was as if God and i were playing a doubles match of tennis. And my life is the ball. Ball comes winging our way, I tell God: "God, you decide where and how to hit the ball"...then God says:"No, son, you have to hit the ball first". So now the ball is squarely in my court.

There is a difference in the two. One is passive living. The other is active living. And obviously the latter is the harder to do.

So Pastor David asked me: What is your plan for achieving your life goal and what actions will you take to start achieving it? He cited examples. Most importantly, he said: its not about what course you choose, its about why you choose it and the process of making that decision thats most impt. And the course you choose will ultimately be based on how well it helps you fulfil your life goal.

And he hasn't even gone in depth about the spiritual aspect of it all. he asked me to do 3 things:

1)What do you think is the biggest problem the world is facing now, barring the spiritual aspect?

2)After you have answered 1, go and relook the whole prospectuses and select the courses which help you fulfil it. Don't restrict to engineering or any one course.

3) After you have done 1 and 2, come and look for me.

He didn't directly say which courses i should or should not apply. He merely said: I don't want to tell you what to do. You have to decide and plan for yourself.

So what now? I need to discover my life goal. I have many ambitions in life, but none as strong or compelling or detailed to make it a life goal.

Tonight I'm gonna wrest some answers from God. Even if I have to pray all night.

"What do I want to do with my life?"

2009-03-04T13:22:00.003+08:00

Yesterday morning I woke up at 9:00am, earlier than usual, to the familiar morning sounds of the birds and the sunlight streaming in through the windows. The day was slightly different, though. I collected the morning papers and flipped through with 1 part anticipation, 9 parts trepidation, and there on the Straits Times page 7 of prime news, tucked away at the very bottom of the page, I found what I was looking for. Actually the news was already out on monday, but not in print, but seeing in print in the papers sort of made cold realisation sink in and hit home.

One headline. 4 sentences. Print size 2.5 inch by 3 inch.

Such a small thing.

Such a big thing.

My last days will be spent filling up forms for scholarship applications, making final explorations into uni courses, and otherwise keeping myself occupied. After friday.....who knows?

There is a stillness in the air, a quietness unfathomable, uncomprehending...what it portends...and what follows...is anyone's guess.

2009-01-23T13:27:00.002+08:00

3rd week of January is almost over and I haven't done much constructive work, except for painting my house gate, which took me the better part of the last two weeks.

So I've decided to go hiking in Macritchie either next week or the week after, after the CNY period and make full use of the good weather in january before the monsoons come. And also before my dentatae are clapped in irons. This time i preferably would want to hike alone, because its only when I'm truly alone that I'm able to best appreciate the sights, smells and sounds of nature.

I love hiking not just because of the physical sense of challenge that it affords, and not just because of the sense of exploration and adventure that I get out of it, but much more importantly because I am able to marvel at the wonders of God's handiwork in his creation, to soak in the sensations of the natural environment, to enjoy the blessed peace and cessation from the bustle of everyday life....to be able to capture the beauty of nature in its true essence and thereby also communing with God in the most intimate way I know. For it is in nature that I see the hand of God most clearly, and I hear the Saviour's still small voice most powerfully. As the Bible says, the heavens declare the glory of the Lord, the skies declare the works of His hands.

So that is why I prefer to hike alone. But i did mention to wilson yesterday when I met him to plan for tomorrow's fellowship that I would be going to hike rather soon and He could join me if he wanted. I guess Wilson is probably one of the really rare people who can appreciate the value of silence in this noise polluted society. We'll just see how it turns out.

Ok so besides this I also intend to explore two areas in the CCNR that have piqued my interest. One is that I want to visit the WWII ruins of Syonan Jinja, a Japanese shrine built to commemorate the Japanese victory over Singapore. The Japs blew it up before they surrendered in 1945, but the remains are still there, somewhere along the Northwestern shore of MacRitchie reservior. If internet research is reliable enough, I should have little trouble finding it.

The other place I want to explore is Woodcutter's trail, a 5km trail cutting between Seletar and Pierce reserviors, linking upper thomson road to Dairy farm road. This one might be a tad harder to find because i cannot find any directions to it, save for the start and end points. And with any less trodden jungle trail, it might be harder to stick to the right trail.

Both places are known in Singapore Hiker's lore among hardcore enthusiasts, but not officially recognised by Nparks. So I should have a fun time:)

I welcome anyone who has adequate experience in hiking to join me. If ure even remotely interested please drop me a tag on my tagboard. I will need a compass too.

Now to finish painting my gate.

2009-01-09T12:24:00.002+08:00

I need to find a job. Fast

These days all i'm doing at home is spending copious amounts of time on facebook, as well as doing some packing and preparation of the house for CNY. I'm slowly rotting as the days pass by.

Still, i'm kinda reluctant to find a job so far, because after the stressful last months of 2008....I don't feel that eager to jump back into busyness as of yet. After studying so hard that I fell sick during the A levels, I thought once the exams were over I would have time to catch a breather. Instead I was immediately plunged into the preparations for christmas party and Christmas chior and guitar performances in church, not to mention fellowship planning and chariskidz duties on Sundays. So now after christmas is my opportunity to slack...when most of my riends are already working.

Initialy throughout the whole of last year I had envisioned grand plans for myself once I finished the dastardly A levels. Some of them where:

1) Learn how to play Guzheng

2) Learn how to play bagpipes

3) Take up a course in rockclimbing to further my interest

4) Go kayaking with some good friends

5) Visit Marina Barrage and Henderson Bridge Walk to check out the scenery

6) Go hiking again in the BTNR and MacRitche area

7) Pack my room and paint my blinds

8) Play a few Mahjong rounds

9) Start training regimen for NS

10) Work on a few personal art projects

11) Read some new novels

12) Facebook (which I've done a lot of)

13) Decide roughly what course in UNI to take up

But after the exams were over I realized that the last year has taken much more out of me than i expected. Its as if I was a lemon squeezed until all the juice was gone and now all that remains is a near empty husk. Its probably a poor metaphor for the kind of life I'm experiencing now, But you get the picture.

Somehow even though I have many things i want to try out, i seem to have lost the determination and energy to do them. Now everyday i just sleep, eat, and surf like there's no tomorrow. A very strange way of living for someone of my personality. And the rest of the time, i spend in thinking, mainly about the past.

Thinking about how the last two years have been so incredibly anxiety and misery-ridden, how almost all my ambitions when I entered JC have been unfulfilled, thinking about what i could have done different, how i could have reacted to circmstances differently. Thinking about how hard I tried (and failed) for my personal evangelism, what i could have done better. Thinking about how incredibly confusing everything was. thinking about how i could have done better for Chemistry paper 3 for a levels if I had takien better care of my health.

Thinking about how the previous two classes of P6es graduating from chariskidz have been

grounded in youth...and wondering if i will do a better job with the P6es this year.

Thinking about past failures, percieved failures, actual failures, past successes, percieved successes, actual successes.

Think think think

One of the reasons why I refuse to find a job so soon may be because I want to live a life where i can be in total control of, even though it will only be temporary and shallow. Now i don't have to worry about homework, or school work, or meeting deadlines other ppl set, or waking up on time, or making decisions which tear me apart, or runing around following other people like a headless chicken.

A life which i can direct at will and control.

Of course this is just pure deception, because nobody can really say they are in entire control of their life. If they could do that, they would be like God. And the desire to control our own life has a potential to lead to a more sinister desire to control everything, which then can lead us down the slippery slope of trying to be like God. Which was part of the reason why Lucifer fell.

So that about sums up my life right now: slacking, musing and deluding myself.

2008-12-07T23:06:00.012+08:00

At last AJ Prom 2008 has come and gone. It wasn't really high or anything like that but it was a good wrap up to 2 years in AJC. On the way to Marriot Hotel on the train, I bumped into Zen Hong and Arif, and we reached marriot around 6:30 and entered around 7:30 with the rest of the class.

The 8 course meal was passable, I guess, not exactly fantastic, but perhaps just right for such an occasion. The usual events like table games and prom king/queen nomination went quite predictably, so theres not much to write about anyway.

I shall let my photos do the talking instead.

The one and only Bamboo Club: Arif, Me and Zen Hong. Haha ZH looks so blur

Class Girls

Class Guys

Clique photo!

Table Photo

Hwee Lin, Melissa, Shufen and Gina

Melissa and Munchee

Me and Arif. I look like im smirking not smiling here

Me and the the ever smiling Gina

Me and Qianhua

And me and Munchee

Me and Gladys

Me and Melissa

Rather cool pose by Arif
More photos coming soon!

2008-11-29T00:07:00.004+08:00

People have been asking me if I'm enjoying my post A levels life.

My answer to me is mostly that i feel life is even more stressful after A levels

They usually tell me I'm crazy, but let me try to explain myself.

Firstly, I have been out every single day since A levels ended, and this is set to continue until the end of next week.

A peek at my post A levels hectic schedule:

Tuesday, 18 Nov: Last day of exams. Went out to buy stuff for class BBQ in the afternoon. Out of house from 0777 hrs to 1530hrs

Wednesday, 19 Nov: Class Chalet. Out of house from 1500hrs to 2300 hrs

Thursday and Friday: Class Chalet and BBQ. Out of house from 1400hrs on thurs to 1200hrs on friday

Saturday: Pitstop fellowship, regular fellowship, service and followup, out of house from 1000hrs to 2230 hrs

Sunday: Chariskidz. Out of house from 0700hrs to 1400hrs

Monday, 24 Nov: Bible study cum dinner at Uncle Aaron's house, out of house from 1700hrs to 2100hrs

Tuesday 25 Nov: Prom shopping with the class guys, out from 1200hrs to 2200 hrs

Wednesday 26 Nov: Followup with Albert, Guanhua's friend, out of house from 1700hrs to 2030 hrs

Thursday: Meet up with Zainul and Shuqian, exclassmates, out from 1230hrs to 1830hrs

Friday: BBQ at Erwin's place, out from 1500hrs to 2330hrs

And looking forward, here's my schedule

Saturday, 29 Nov: Song practice, Fellowship, service and Followup, out of house from 0800hrs to 2200 hrs

Sunday: Chariskidz and fellowship planning, out from 0700hrs to 1400hrs

Monday: Soccer witht the class guys, meet up to go borders shopping with shaun and YJ, and BS in the evening, out of house from 0900hrs to 2200hrs

Tuesday: Followup with the P6, details tentative

Wednesday 3 Dec: Dinner and Dance, 1700hrs to 0000hrs

Thursday: Celebrate Dad's Birthday, out from dunno when

Friday: Out with Nigel

Saturday and Sunday: the usual stuff

So i have a total of 20 days of unbroken busyness from the end of A levels. How to rest? How not to stress?

You just don't understand me

2008-11-25T23:40:00.002+08:00

So its now one week before our Dinner and Dance 2008.....and time to shop for clothes.

Today i met up with a few of the guys in my class to go Bugis to shop for suitable outfits for our prom....and I pretty much kept within my budget of 100 dollars.

I only spent 60 bucks on a shirt and several accessories.. i guess i saved because i already have a pair of leathers and pants at home. We mainly shopped at Bugis Street...but we also browsed at Topman, Giodarno and Bossini at Bugis Juction. Too bad we couldn't find a Bata...so we just have to get shoes on our own.

I also saw this really chic shirt at Bugis street...it had silver ribbons and frills and looked quite eclectic overall, which suits my taste, so I bought it to wear at Christmas parties.

Interestingly we also met Gladys and her cousin, who happened to be in the vicinity due to some reason which i cant recall.

Total expenditure today is just under 95 bucks. So we shopped from 1 to 6 and then ate dinner at the nearby kopitiam...and then we went home.

Last stop for me was Borders at Wheelock Place, as I still havent spent my Borders voucher we won at SSEF this year. Having earmarked the books I want makes it easier to get them the next time I go there with my SSEF buddies.

I never really bothered about dressing for the occasion, but this might be one of the rare occasions i guess.

Can't wait for D&D to come!

2008-11-19T00:20:00.002+08:00

I know for sure some people are going to say my new blogskin is GAY.

If you are one of those people please let me know by tagging

But as for me I find this skin rather nice and dreamy

And I don't really care two hoots whether people think its gay or not.

But just to find out people's opinion, please tag and let me know.

The author of this skin claimed its only suitable for girls. I'm out to prove her wrong.

But since most of my close friends say I'm 1/3 female already, who cares?

I like to think of myself as a ubersensitive and elegant male with slight feminist leanings

But I'm still a guy and I'm damn proud of my manhood, if you'll pardon the language.

Oh and A levels are officially over, but everything feels the same.

2008-11-16T23:02:00.002+08:00

YES! I WILL SOON BE FREE!

But life after A's will be just as busy....and theres a lot to do

I realise that I've lost about a kilo of weight over the A level period....and I really need to exercise.

Thankfully I'm still as tanned as ever.....its in my genes.

I still have to wait for tuesday for my papers to end.

Kayaking on wednesday (weather permitting), and chalet cum bbq on thurs and fri

this weekend I'm back! Yay!

Miss a lot of ppl especially my P6 kids

And the youth too....didn't have much chance to talk

Miss the JC2 bunch too.

And all the wonderful teachers at chariskidz haha

Finally the rain is letting up

2008-11-14T19:11:00.004+08:00

9 papers down and only one more to go next tuesday.

Thanks all for your prayers and encouragement. The storm is almost over, and its almost time to start picking up the pieces.

Since the last paper's MCQ, theres not much to study, so I went to visit the new Yishun Library at Northpoint on my way home.

It was pretty packed today because its opening day but still, the ambience was rather good, though a little noisy.

The layout of the library leaves much to be desired however. having only one entrance and occupying the highest floor of the mall, it was quite crowded with little room for manoeuvouring around. Subsequently I nearly crashed into quite a number of (quite chio) girls as I flitted between the shelves. Its a little too close for comfort, but at least its better than the old library.

However as the library had only one entrance, visitors had to travel all the way to the end of the library to reach the fiction section. And one reason why it was so noisy was perhaps because the reading areas and childrens corner and reception and borrowing area were all situated in the same area next to the entrance. So a lot of noise and traffic (you know how irritating small kids can be in a library)

I borrowed two books which I will only read after my last paper: The Children of Hurin by JRR Tolkien, and Girls gone Mild by Wendy Shalit. The latter promises to be quite an interesting read, as the author claims that girls in our modern world actually desire to live their own lives and not conform to the media and culture stereotypes of bikini clad skinny girls with bad attitude and need for sexual liberation.

Yishun library promses to be a good place to chill and soak up a good read, but not really good for studying because of the limited tables. However the slightly cramped spaces do provide a perfect excuse for bumping into (pretty, chio) girls, which will definitely keep your day interesting. Just be careful not to stare too much:P

By the way, I wonder why there are disproportionately more girls than guys in libraries these days? You will hardly see any guy just going there to pick up a good book. Mostly its for studying.

Good luck with the girls, guys

2008-11-05T09:58:00.003+08:00

3 papers down, 7 more to go and I have a splitting headache and a sore throat today.

How fortunate

*cough

GP was ok, Physics was ok, Maths was screwed.

Chemistry tmr, maths after that and its the weekends

Hope I reach there in one piece.

2008-11-02T12:29:00.002+08:00

So it all comes down to this.

2 years worth of preparation culminates in 2 weeks worth of examinations

20 hours left till crunch time and what am I doing? I'm facebooking and blogging

Am I prepared? Definitely not.

Am I composed? I sincerely hope so.

This is either the last chance for redemption or the final coup de grace.

Lets analyse this from God's view.

Reasons for God to allow me to do well:
1) To bless me with good results
2) To glorify God with my grades
3) To ensure I get a good place in uni

Reasons for God to allow me to not do well:
1) To make me dependent on Him and not my ability of intellect
2) To humble me
3) To break me so that I can be used in my weakness for Him

But then, who am I to speak for God?

God will do with me as He pleases. His ways are not my ways. I will never be able to fully understand His reasons or His MO

I only need to trust and obey

Easy in theory, very difficult in practice

My intellect is my last bastion of confidence, apart from God of course.

I can lose my reputation, I can lose my physical health, I can part with whatever glamour or success in being a student leader, I can lose desire in pursuing all hobbies and interests, I can lose my confidence and passion, I can lose my good looks, I can bear to lose friends(though i will be very heartbroken) but I cannot bear, cannot bear to lose my intelligence. In fact I have already lost all that through the to years in AJC. I only have God and my intellect left.

Which makes for very good grounds for God to take that last piece of my self-identity away from me. Because a self-identity built on 100% God is the only self-identity God wants us to have. Not to put faith in ourselves, but put faith entirely on Him

Possibly thats what Pastor Sylvia talked about yesterday, about how we need to have a spiritual mindset. And a spiritual mindset is one that focuses entirely on who God is, not who we are.

So in all probability, I will not do as well as I hope for the A levels. That still does not exucse me from giving it my best shot now.

Shit. How How How How Howwwwwwww???????????????

Im so nervous now that I have to blog before continuing to study

Strangely, I feel like laughing

Ha
Haha
hahaha
hahahaha
hahahahaha
hahahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.............................

HAHAhaHaHAHaHAHAHHAHAHAHhHhahhahaHAHHAhhaHAHHA

:):)p:)

:o:o::o:o:o:o

OK STOP!

calm down

deep breaths

go and pray

hard
very hard
very very very hard

ok

19 hours left

its showtime

lets go

good bye

farewell

adios

shalom

the final swansong is about to begin.

2008-10-28T23:32:00.002+08:00

Like pearlyn said, today is a special day:)

Hahah thanks to all my wonderful friends who remembered my birthday and wished me in one way or another, and also especial thanks to my wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ who crashed my house to throw a surprise party for me:)

Thanks to Erwin, Yiggie, Pearlyn, Joel, Kenny, Evonne and Amos for coming....you guys really warmed my heart

Thanks also to Nicole for "organising" it....it was really pleasantly unexpected, but she sort of gave the game away a little this morning:P

Photos and full story after A Levels:)

YEAH! I'M FINALLY EIGHTEEN!

2008-09-27T01:15:00.003+08:00

A rather interesting convo I had with Pearlyn on her birthday thru MSN...usually i don't post such things but for reading pleasure, well...

[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
hi
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
helloo
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
is today a special day?
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
thanks ah!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAHAHA
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
i dunno le...today seems to be an important day but i cant seem to recall wad exactly
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
yah yah yah\
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
ladaladalada
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAHAHAHA
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
thanks la thanks
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAHA
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
recalled alrdy?
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
oh ya i rmb
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
you purposely trying to irritate me right
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
huh huh huh
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
you wanna fight ah
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAHAHA
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
it's someones birthday!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
JEREMY SU
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
I REMEMBER I REMEMBER!
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
today is Gwyneth Paltrow's 36th birthday!
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
its also Li Yapeng's 37th birthday!
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
yes yes now i remember
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
i got to sms gwyneth paltrow and wish her happy birthday
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
JEREMY SU CHANG XIONG
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
wonder how's her baby daughter i havent seen her in so long
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
JEREMY SMELLY SU CHANG XIONG
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
!
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
its also Andy Lau's 47th birthday!
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
I haven contacted him since he autographed my poster
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
I'm sure you have his number?
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
my my i have so many frens birthday today
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
we kinda lost contact
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
wow would you like to help me ask for edison chens number?
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
oh so sad
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
JEREMY SU!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
PURPOSELY RIGHT
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
i dun want his number....
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
i wanted his number to scold him btw
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
YOU!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
PURPOSELY!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
I TELL YOU!
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
oh its also Avril Lavigne's 24th birthday!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
I'm ignoring you
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
my my shes going to hold her concert here did you know
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAHAHA
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
im soooooo excited!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
so you think you phoenix you cool la!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
purposely la!
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
why u jealous that i know so many famous ppl is it?
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
oh pleease
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
dream dream
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
haha
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
wait ari need to go congratulate all my frens whose bday is today
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
i seem to have forgotten someone though....
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
i am not talking to you]\
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAH
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
of course you're not; you're TYPING to me
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
OH MY GOSH
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
okay I'm not typing to you anymore
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX]..says:
btw, my name is xiong chang, not chang xiong, and i smell really nice
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
oh yea JEREMY SU CHEST LONG HAHAHAHA
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
thhanks im proud of my chest too
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
aiya got to go
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
it was nice irritating you.....hope i can do that more often
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
OMG
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
just go jump down now
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
srwsly
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
haha
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
surely you can't bear to see me die?
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
uhm cause I believe that you can fly
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
so yea
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
go jump down
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
how heartless of u
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
dun talk to u. i gtg
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
no i heartmore
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
not less
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
and happy 17th birthday
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
finally but yea
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
THANKS LA
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
(:
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
God bless
[xXiv]..[PhOeNiX].. says:
bye
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
bye!
Pearlyn, ♥ says:
goodnight!

Haha...happy 17th birthday Pearlyn Pua...don't get too mad when you read this, if you want we can have another round:)

2008-09-12T13:23:00.003+08:00

Really got no time to blog....and anyway few ppl read it, so I don't blog often....

Last Sunday was rather interesting though, we had a kind of Chraiskidz teacher appreciation performance.....organised by Jaime and the parents...heres what happened.

Jaime looked me up on Saturday the day before and asked me to come for service the next day. Naturally I asked why. She wouldn't tell me, so I just came on Sunday lor.

Actually I already had an idea it was something to do with teacher's day, because it was just over, so anyway I came on Sunday early to study with Evonne and Claire(but she overslept).

Rather irrelevant/silly things happened next so I shall just fast forward to the performance. We (evonne and me) went in for communion at 0930hrs then waited for service to end. Then came the performance.

Apparently the kids and the parents had put up a song item for us and Jaime even printed personalised notebooks with our names on them and with the thank you notes from all our kids for each teacher......it was really a lot of effort and really must thank Jaime as well as the parents for all the covert practices/rehearsals, and all the effort put in to thank us teachers...

At the end of the song performance somebody(I forgot who) announced that they would be thanking the teachers for all their efforts and contribution, and then she started to call us up one by one by name to recieve our "tokens of appreciation".

Then we were thinking it was kinda embarassing to just go up one by one but we had no choice haha....was a bit mahlu but also good la....all of us were there except teachers Joel(he had CCA), Claire and Niu(overslept). Afterwards we enjoyed a video made for Jaime personally by the parents....and they also bought for her this HUGE bouquet of flowers....and could see that she was quite touched.

The parents also prepared a sumptious luncheon for us....highlights include shredded chicken and mayo and onion crackers (voted most popular, I ate at least 15), mango cream swiss rolls (I ate 6), sweet curry with the usual stuff, longan and almond dessert, and nuggets. Exquisite.

Thanks to GOD for calling all of us to serve Him in Chariskidz...over the last few years my spiritual life has been enriched by sharing it with all you teachers....as well as guiding the kids. Thanks to all the parents and kids and JAIME for organising all that......it was really really good.

Anyway I took a good break from mugging that day and really enjoyed myself....it felt kind of ethereal and dreamy sensation, a very peaceful, happy day....strange what a simple celebration can do.

We ended at around 1130 and I didn't feel like sticking around so homed with Linette and Evonne. Droppeed L off at MRT then took the 76 bus back with E. Had a rather relaxing time listening to the radio on her MP3....then reached home at around 1pm.

Fast forward 5 days to today. Prelims are almost over and tomorrow is Zhong Qiu Jie celebrations haha time to relax again. Been sleeping only 5 hours a day because of the tremendous volume of knowledge I have to cram into my cranium.

Only wished that day could have lasted a little longer

2008-09-03T00:02:00.002+08:00

Hies...its a long long time since I blogged.

Updates on my status: Prelims are in 5 days, A levels are in 2 months and for the first time im seriously looking at the possibility of not getting my straight A's

Its not that I'm arrogant, its just...well...I am an extreme perfectionist. My friends can vouch for that.

Aside from all that, my recent weeks have been drowned in a storm of negative thoughts and feelings which have been fluctuating pretty badly. Its not just the stress in studies, its now crept into every aspect of life. Many of my previous assumptions of myself have been challenged this year.

I guess its just God's way of reminding me how much more I still have to improve in order to really serve and obey Him.

One good thing about crisises, they almost always drive me closer to God. Which is what I must do now, focus on God, not the circumstances.

I tend to fall prey very easily to external circumstances...and my mood can be quite affected by them. And when my mood is affected, thats it. One of the most effective weapons Satan employs against me is always directed at my thought patterns. Once I hook on to a slightest negative thought, I am defenceless. Looking back, this has been a recurring trend in my spiritual walk with God.....one of the major things that keep me from walking closer with God.

The antidote? "In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thess 5:18

A very hard verse for me to obey, but with God's help I shall do it.

In the meanwhile, I just have to keep trusting God one step at a time. I guess this is real faith, because I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, every step I take is shrouded in uncertainty. But the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that God will walk every dark step with me. Since He's there with me always, whats there to worry? whats there to fear?

Lord help me always, in all ways and times, give thanks.....create in me a clean, pure and joyful heart, so that I may serve You better than before......help me be contented with my circumstances in life, help me surrender my will to Yours, help me learn not to borrow from tomorrow's grace but daily walk with You......help me to ask for the lesson learnt, not the problem solved......help me humbly accept your plan for me.......help me love obey and serve thee out of agape, not self love..............strengthen me and enable me to serve Your purpose in my generation, as David did....help me love you even more. This is the extent to which my human, selfish, limited love can go.......tear out that self love and replace it with yours

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding......

Lord stay with me....every minute, every hour......I don't want to leave

2008-06-07T00:55:00.002+08:00

Today has been one heck of an exciting and interesting day.

I went out at 12pm to catch Prince Caspian at the Cathay with Evonne, Linette, Jasmine, Ruth and Maoxiang and Pearlyn. The movie in terms of action and thrills was good enough, the rest of it was quite disappointing for me, especially the corruption of several main spiritual themes in the book. Quite disappointed. In fact I shall write a review soon on why Prince Caspian is such a let down, as well as being slightly atheist in theme. Anyhow ignoring this, and Ben Barnes' colourless acting, and the almost complete absence of Aslan, and the portrayal of Peter as having qualities more befitting a scullery maid than a high kning, the movie is passable.

The show ended around 4:30, then we walked down to Raffles City to do some aimless wondering. (When you're alone with a group of 5 girls theres always bound to be some aimless shopping, which is actually a waste of time but its ok. I had a lot of time to waste.) So just show some tolerance haha. Then Evonne realised her wallet went missing so we backtracked to Cathay to look for it and thank God she eventually found it.

Crisisover, time for more aimless shopping at the Cathay. It was around 6 that I excused myself and went to meet up with Someone. Then I had a hurried dinner at plaza Sing and rushed down to the Esplanade, because I had another concert there to attend. The concert was scheduled at 1930 hrs. I reached there at 1935hrs. And I realised that the Esplanade had very strict rules on timing. Another 30 seconds late and I would have been locked out.

The concert was a Symphony of the music written for Lord of the Rings triology, composed and directed by none other than Howard Shore. Complete with sketchbook drawings of movie scenes by some renowned artists, it was truly manificent. Worth every cent of the $16 I paid and more. Again, when I have time I will write a review of it too.

By the time it ended and I reached back to Raffles City, it was already 10pm. spent some time browsing at mph then finally left for home at 1030pm. Reached my house at 1130pm.

More next time ciao!

2008-06-02T23:28:00.002+08:00

I found this excerpt from the book i was reading the other day, Mere Christianity, by Christian theologian CS Lewis. Yes, he's the same guy who wrote the Chronicles of Narnia and i bet ifhe were to see the movies these days he'd wish his books never got made into movies. But thats besides the point. This inspiring exerpt has him answering the question some non Christians have about God, which is

"If God is real and powerful, and He's supposed to be in charge, then why isn't he showing Himself here on Earth now so that more people would believe in Him? Why couldn't He just stay on earth after his resurrection, if he really wanted to save us? Why would he allow the world to be corrupted by sin and suffering and evil under the devil's control, as Christians claim"

A close friend of mine recently asked me this: "Why can't we accept Jesus after we die? When we can know FOR SURE whether He is real or not. Why must we only become believers before we die in order to be saved?"

Here is Lewis' answer to both questions, and I think I couldn't agree more...

"Another possible objection (to Christianity) is this: Why is God landing in this enemy-occupied world in disguise (as Jesus in human form) and starting a sort of secret society (Christianity) to undermine the devil? Why is He not landing in force, invading it?Is it that He is not strong enough? Well, Christians believe He is going to land in force; we don't know when. But we can guess why He's delaying. He wants to give us the chance of joining His side freely.I do not suppose you and I would think much of a Frenchman who waited till the Allies were in Germany and thenannounced he was on our side. God will invade.But I wonder whether those people who ask God to interfere openly and directly in our world quite realise what it will be like when he does. When that happens, its the end of the world. When the author walks onto the stage the play is over. God is going to invade, all right, but what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else-something it never entered your head to concieve, comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise (in His true divine form); something so overwhelming that it will either strike irresistable love or irrisistable terror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. That will not be the time for choosing; it will be the time we discover which side we have chosen, whether we realised it or not."

"God is holding back to give us that chance (to choose to believe in Him freely). It will not last forever. We must take it or leave it." (CS Lewis,Mere Christianity, parenthesized words mine)

So God actually wants to give us a free choice to choose or reject Him. God doesn't want to force us to believe. But when you die, or when God comes again (whichever comes first) its game over. You will finally meet God face to face. You can't change the results or restart the game. You can't switch sides. And your game results have eternal consequences. Its simple: either eternal death or eternal life.

Sounds horrible? No. Actually we are already destined for eternal death, because of our sin. This is the only way out.

In subsequent posts I shall try to answer some people when they say "Christianity is selfish"

Mr CLZL, I hope this answers ur question:)

ardeo alis aquilae in solus Christo

2008-06-01T22:40:00.003+08:00

Here are some great videos I found...very inspiring

I never tried this before so im trying out

Testing...

2008-05-20T22:15:00.002+08:00

1001 Reasons to praise God

1-1001) CHARIS YOUTH CAMP IS ON!!!

YESSS! PARISE GOD! All that praying and fasting finally paid off...all the time God has been so faithful, so merciful towards us in Charis Youth....time and again we have failed Him, yet he still allows us a second chance

And He loves us so immeasurably, that even if all the heavens were to contain that love, it would still spill over...

After almost 2 years with no camp, finally here's one. And this camp will be one camp where we will once again be renewed by the Spirit of love and be blessed by God. We will spend time worshipping and praising Him, we will seek His face, and we will be ablaze once again.

When I got the news from Pastor Gideon, I just couldn't help but praise God with my guitar. it was just so fulfilling, so evident of a God that keeps His promises.

As I was praying a few weeks ago for the camp, I sensed the Lord telling me that the camp will go through despite all the difficulties. Today that promise has been fulfilled. Amen!

Yes, this is a time where broken hearts will be mended, lives will be restored, spirits revived.
Thank You Lord, for not giving up on us.

I will sing of Your faithfulness
Of Your mercy and Your love
I will say this is the day
That the Lord has made
I hold on to the promise
Of Your ressurection power
Restore to me Your joy
I will praise You now

Be glad and rejoice
For the Lord our saviour reigns
And the joy of the Lord shall be our strength
I was born to be
Your dwelling place
This is the day that the
Lord
Has
Made!

HALLELUJAH! MARANATHA!

2008-05-19T14:53:00.004+08:00

This is one post which I'm probably gonna regret posting but here goes anyway. Disclaimer: I'm not as negative as you think. And I'm not wallowing in self pity even if it seems so.

101 reasons to be pessimistic this year

1) I lead an extremely boring life
2) I got an S grade for Chinese A levels
3) One of my closest friends has been diagnosed with cancer
4) I just don't understand maths vectors
5) I didn't get an A for PW
6) I have been unsuccessful in outreach so far
7) My glasses are damaged and I haven't fixed them
8) I am constantly indunated by other people's problems but no one can solve mine
9) My other close friend has sort of grown distant
10) Fellowship attendance is dropping
11) I am ostracised by a certain group of people( I won't say who)
12) I have few friends
13) My wrist has been injured since march and its not healed yet
14) My dad screams at my sis every other day
15) My sis throws a tantrum on the other days
16) I regularly lose track of my stuff
17) My study schedule is in chaos
18) I have failed all my Maths tests this year
19) I have failed all my Chem tests this year
20) After 2 years in Chariskidz I still find it a challenge to relate to some types of kids
21) I couldn't take a H3 subject
22) I'm not applicable for many scholarships coz I take only 10 AUs
23) I'm a regular latecomer
24) My room is in a deplorable mess
25) I don't have enough time to sleep
26) I get stressed up over the slightest things
27) My CCA record sucks
28) There are not enough mature youths to take care of the younger ones
29) Many youths are dissatisfied with PG even though God placed him as our leader
30) I suffer from SACDS (severe acute chocolate deprivation syndrome)
31) I'm destined to be a nerd
32) I just can't reach an A for GP
33) My ear is infernally blocked and I'm partially deaf
34) Mid years are only 1 month away and I'm still trying to catch up on tutorials
35) We are not of one body, one spirit, one mind
36) I seem to be failing as a leader
37) I'm pessimistic even though I try not to be
38) I'm getting old
39) Fellowship now has many restrictions
40) I keep disappointing others
41) I hurt others often and realise it too late
42) I hurt myself wen I hurt others
43) The food in AJ canteen is deplorable
44) My pet elephant hates me
45) I keep losing my clothes
46) I really really hate conflict, so to avoid it sometimes I give in
47) My IQ seems to have plunged
48) My EQ hasn't stopped plunging
49-101) Still thinking...I'm sure there are more

This seems like a laundry list of dystopia....but I'm sure things will get better...somehow....God will make a way, where there seems to be no way

2008-05-13T21:54:00.001+08:00

Times of refreshing...

These few days I've been thinking a lot....about many things..

Have also been praying....

And I don't know why I'm writing this but I have a hope for the future..

OK I'm rambling I don't know what I'm saying..

Maybe this would be good, to sort out my thoughts, what is my current state of mind.

As I spend more time to quieten myself down in the midst of everyday stress and the avalanche of tutorials, lectures, class assessments and so on, as I spend more time away from the noise and bustle of the daily grind of work, and tune in to the music of the heavenlies, and as I treasure the time spent with my Lord,I begin to get the bigger picture.

As humans who live in the natural, it is only expected that we have to attend to our present needs. But so many Christians are today suffering from what I'd call spiritual myopia. We know we have been saved, but sometimes we live as though there's no God the trust and believe in. We live in the light of the present, when we should be living in the light of eternity.

A lot of the powerlessness Christians face today stem from one thing, the lack of personal time spent with the Lord. Thus one of my commitments has been to spend more time conciously coming before God to allow Him to renew me.

The Lord has indeed reassured me and shown me new things about my life as well as the youth ministry so far. Its too early to say anything yet, but I'm looking forward to setting aside time daily to seek the face of the Lord, and just simply to enjoy His presence and to feel safe in His arms. That alone is a privilege beyond words.

How wonderful, the richness of God's blessings which he freely gives to His children! How indescribable, to worship the King of kings and glorify Him! He is enthroned in the midst of cherubim and seraphim, yet we are sanctified by Him and we now can approah the altar of Grace with joy and thanksgiving.

Truly Man was made to praise You, Lord. We are not made to worship statues and stones, nor money and possessions, nor grades and achievements, nor human desires,nor Pride, Contempt, Self or Others, but the human heart will only be truly satisfied if it does what it is made for, to praise and worship an everliving God.

Down at Your feet oh Lord
Is the most high place
In your presence Lord
I seek Your face
I seek Your face

There is no higher calling
No greater honour
than to bow and kneel before Your throne
I'm amazed at Your glory
Embraced by Your mercy
Oh Lord
I
LIVE
TO
WORSHIP
YOU

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaih 40: 30-31

2008-04-16T01:47:00.001+08:00

This comes as a surprise

Apparently there are people who read my blog

I thought that my blog didn't even have a readership

Now it seems everyones watching

Interesting

Very

Interesting

2008-03-14T18:01:00.010+08:00

Singapore Science and Engineering Fair 2008

Well all's said and done by now but in order that I don't forget this wonderful experience, I'm gonna blog it.

As you may or may not know, my project which i did last december during my A*STAR attachment period got shortlisted for SSEF this year, much to my surprise. Intially i had thought our project was too simple for them to consider, but well it did get in.

Following this was 3 weeks of hard work as we put together our poster and rehearsed our presentation. Yongjin and I spent like 3 hours deciding the format of the poter which was seriously a waste of time. Then someone suggested we print on A1 size which later proved to be a blessing in disguise.

On the day before SSEF, Tuesday 4th March, we travelled down to science centre to set up our booth, and to our horror we discovered that most teams had posters in AO size, double that of our own poster. Out of the 249 projects, only 2 others printed on A1, the rest all printed on AO size. Our poster suddenly looked puny.

Yup this was our humble poster. Compare this to the size of the poster beside us...

And around us....

So you see what i mean when I say we are disadvantaged by size. Furthermore, other teams had laptop presentations, prototypes, and models to enhance their presentation. We didn't even bring our samples, and we also forgot to print our title! So after a frantic fush to find a printer we finally got our pathetic display done.

5th March ~ Judgement Day

Today was the day the judges came to judge our projects. Each project has 3 different judges, and the time for them to arrive is from 8.15 am to 6 pm. And you have no way of knowing when they will arrive. So if you're lucky, all three judges could arrive by noon or earlier. If you're unlucky, the first judge could com as late as 5pm. which means you have to be on tenterhooks waiting for a judge who only arrives at 5pm. Which was what happened to my other research partner Shaun with his other project.

I agree that this method of judgiing is quite unfair and very subjective but life's unfair anyway....so....

Anyway we were lucky because our first judge came at 9 and our last at 1145. The first judge was a lady from IMRE(how lucky) and the second was an ang moh from NUS. Both seemed suitably impressed with our project and we thought things we looking good. But the last judge was quite skeptical and tried to point out our loopholes, so after he left we were a little demoralised. So after that it was free and easy for us, and I had a little time to camwhore...

First, I went around to visit the other AJCians booths. This year there are only 5 of us, which is pathectically small.

This is Sukrit's poster. He's also from the A*STAR prog

And Gaurav, poster also from A*STAR. I managed to get a shot of him presenting..

And Claudia, from NRP. Theres one more, Willie, but unfortunately he's not photogenic haha...

6th March~Public Exhibition and Results

Okay so today basically was a slack day. We only had to present our project for the public who came and wait for the announcement of results around 3pm. The whole Annexe was quite packed with students and it was really quite a colourful atmosphere so i took some more photos..

The results was released around 3pm, and they did it excruciatingly slow. The officials went around pasting small pieces of foam which either read Merit, Bronze, Silver or Gold. They did Merit first and They took 15 minutes.....and they passed our booth by.

Then they did bronze, and still they passed our booth by. I had already given up hope on winning anything. By now, virtually 75% of the people present were tailing behind the officials and photographers as they snaked their way through the booths

The officials did not say anything, they merely looked for the right project and then pasted the award next to the code number, as this guy is demonstrating. Photographers then snapped away...

And so did I. I was naturally anxious to see if they would stop at my booth, so i just hung around there waiting.

When the officials finally reached my booth, I really couldn't believe it when one of them reached out and planted a Silver award beside our project code. It was just so unexpected that I let out a whoop of joy....SILVER.....finally something for 1 month of hard work...Thank God...

I have a feeling one reason why we won was because our poster was small, so the judges could see everything at eye level, which made it easier for us to hold their attention and connect with them without bombarding them with gaudy designs or technical jargon..The faces of the Victors. Shaun's on the left, and YJ's in the middle.And the coveted SILVER award...

So finally it was time to clear up. Some left that day elated, some were quite disappointed. Understandably, as some projects spoke of months of Hard work and some projects were done over one year. The resulting strain of not winning took its toll. i did catch a glimpse of an NJC girl in tears being comforted by a schoolmate (which is not really flattering if you are still in a blazer)

Well, this year saw a total of 249 projects, out of which 14 won gold and 21 won silver. So being in the top 14% of the shortlisted participants is pretty good i guess. Im totally satisfied with the results. As for the others in AJC, Willies Project won a Bronze. the rest didn't win anything but still getting shortlisted is already an achievement in itself.

Below's the list of all the Gold and Silver winners. Mines highlighted in green

SSEF Award Winners 2008
SSEF 2008 Gold Award
Project ID
Title
BC26
An Investivative study into the production, extraction, and pesticidal properties of glycoalkaloids in Solanum tuberosum
CH27
Iron Catalyst of Polymeric Schiff bases for Ethylene Polymerization
CM28
Transcription Factor Binding Sites in Mammalian Genomic Repeats
EB03
Synthesis of Mesoporous Carbon Nanofibers
EB43
Synthesis and Characterization of Gold Nanotubes
EB52
Dynamic Materials Testing
EB62
Nanofabrication with Focused Sunlight
EB81
GaN-based LEDs On Silicon-on-Insulator Substrate
EE24
Transcritical CO2 Heat Pumps - Improving Efficiency and Exploring Applications
MB01
Bacterial Resistance to Dettol
MH20
Development of a 3D in vitro breast cancer model using thixotropic PEG-Silica gel
MS01
Enigmatic "Bi-Circular" Property of Triangles - Wang Tong Theory
PA10
Analysis of Colloidal Crystals and Its Inverse Structure
PA23
Magnetic Anisotropy in Epitaxial Cobalt Films *Results are in alphabetical order based on project ID

SSEF 2008 Silver Award
Project ID
Title
AS05
Living in the filth of juices: The chemistry behind the life of pitcher spiders
BC11
Crystal structure determination and characterization of Trypanosoma brucei PIN1
BS03
Building a Responsible Public : Boycott to Solve Singapore's Haze Issues
CH06
Extraction, isolation and identification of triterpenoids from dried lingzhi (garnoderma lucidum) fruiting bodies
CH09
Development of Mesoporous Polymer Particles and their Applications
CH28
Direct asymmetric three-component Mannich reactions catalyzed by a siloxy serine organocatalyst in water
CM26
Functional Characterization of interaction between Galectin-1 and Cav1.2 Calcium Channels
EB10
Study of Water Vapour Transport Mechanism through nanostructure barrier stacks
EB15
Development and Biomimic of Synthetic Gecko Foot-hairs from Carbon Nanotubes
EB30
Hyaluronic Acid - Green Tea Catechin Conjugate and its Application in Protein Delivery
EB34
Effects of annealing on properties of nano-structured Mg composite
EB45
Response of an ostyolytic tumor to anti-osteolytic treatments using bone structural analysis
EB49
A Novel PHBV Microsphere-Gelatin Hydrogel Scaffold Composite for Liver Tissue Engineering
EB53
Synthesis and characterization of novel magnetoelectric multiferroic materials
EB60
Lifetime studies of P3HT:PCBM system for Organic Photovoltaics
EE27
Investigation and Control of Heating Plate Temperature Using Virtual Instrumentation
EE40
An Investigation on the Contemporary Current Sense Amplifier in SRAM Applications
MH29
Transport Enhancement and Improved Selectivity of Chlorin e6 polyvinylpyrrolidone on the chorioallantoic tumor model
MS02
Exploration on the Tower of Hanoi game with k pegs for k is greater than or equals to 4
MS10
Span of L(2,1)-Labelling on Graphs
PS05
Optimization of transformation and growth of Dendrobium chao praya gem (DCPG) orchid calli

Well the prizegiving ceremony will only be in April so till then, ciao!

2007-12-04T22:14:00.000+08:00

HaHAHAHAHA! What a success!

I just composed and played my very first song yesterday for the Farewell cum welcome dinner for Chariskidz teachers. Considering its my first composition, i was unnaturally quite stressed so i couldn't enjoy the fantastic food haha

Wells the song is titled Because You Gave and i dedicated it to:

My Lord and Saviour King, who gave me the inspiration to carry out this otherwise crazy idea,

Huishan, QingWei and Yanchoo, for their service to the Lord in children's ministry,

Tingan, Ethel and Peiqi as an inspiration for them as they embark on this journey with us,

And lastly to the rest of us teachers, as an encouragement and reminder of our purpose of serving.

The song turned out quite well on guitar though Huishan and Jinpei said i needed to improve and standardise my strumming then it would have been perfect. Im not sure but i think i did quite badly....it was much better when i practised it at home...

Not much comment from the others though but I'm getting a very gratifying experience of satisfaction having composed, wrote and performed a piece in just over a day.

Gambate! more songs will come!

2007-12-01T00:52:00.000+08:00

Here's some photos of my attachment so far... i really havent had time to write much

Don't I look diabolical? Haha

Three crazy fellow attachees...from left, yongjin, shaun and ernest. Look at YJ's eyes LOL

Researchers need downtime too...and so do students so we played hearts, poker, taiti, bridge

Tired of cards? There's always the pantries on each floor, which serve excellent milo and teh tarik...

And for lunch we go to the Arts faculty canteen, which serves excellent japanese and claypot dishes...at affordable prices...

YJ making funny faces again...

2007-11-19T00:35:00.000+08:00

First week of A*STAR IMRE attachment is finally over!

Its been pretty much interesting so far, with wacky nerds as research partners, and super soft hearted researchers and mentors. not to mention the excellent drinks at the pantry and our 2 hr lunch break! haha

For the uninformed, A*STAR is the Agency for Science, Technology and Research, Singapore's official body for all science research. Of course theres still NUS and NTU, but A*STAR is the main one. Consisting of 12 research institutes, half of which are dedicated to biomedical research, it is also Singapores biggest conglomeration of research institutes.

IMRE stands for Institute of Materials and Research Engineering, which focuses more on the physics of materials and their properties. I'm attached to for the next 4 weeks there doing a project on Optical Solar Cells.

Its quite far for me to travel to anyway, coz its located in the NUS compound, near the clementi side, so I spend at least 1.5 hours travelling. Its located next to the NUS school of business and the Temasek Lifesciences Laboratories, another RI but not under the A*STAR umbrella.

My research team. The centre one is Yong Jin from RJ, who is really quite crappy. The right one is Shaun from AC. Wonder if nicole knows him.

Shaun operating the glove box. Quite a cool contraption, the glove box. Lets you do everything in a inert nitrogen environment free of contaminants and dust particulates. Too bad its not sterile.

The idea is to put your hands through the black gloves into the box. Somehow when the pressure is high the gloves pop out, which somehow impresses Yong Jin. I don't wanna know why he finds taut gloves fascinating.

Oh and Yong Jin also has a morbid obsession with air guns and nitrogen guns.

Our student pass. Gives us access to the library and the common corridors but not the labs. At least we can access the pantry, which is all that matters:)

more photos next time.

2007-11-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

This holiday promises to be one rollercoaster ride. So much to do and places to go, 7 weeks hardly seems enough.

The list of what I have to do:

1) Physics Electricity E lecture and tutorial
2) Physics Data Based questions
3) Physics project
4) Maths Maclaurin's Series lecture and tutorial
5) Maths Application of Differentiation Tutorial
6) Maths Permutations and Combinations Tutorial
7) GP 2 promo essays
8) GP Promo Compre
9) GP 15 articles
10) Commonwealth Essay 2008
11) Plan for Service Learning
12) Logistics for ASO

List of things I want to do:
1) File all files
2) Clean my room
3) Stanford Essay Competition
4) Maths Application of Integration Tutorial
5) Revise Maths term 3 and 4 work
6) Revise Chem Ionic Equilibra and Chem Bonding
7) CIP
8) Practice Econs
9) GP intensive research

Combine this with the list of events I have this 2 months:
11 Nov--wedding ceremony and lunch buffet of Luke and Minyen
12 Nov to 14 Dec--A*STAR Science Research Attachment at IMRE (every single weekday from 8am to 6pm)
18 Nov--wedding ceremony and lunch buffet for Kevin and Christina
23 to 25 Nov--Rock Climbing competition
30 Nov--ASEAN Scholars Orientation
3 Dec--farewell cum welcome dinner for chariskidz teachers
9 Dec--Huishan and Thomas' wedding ceremony and lunch buffet
10 Dec-- Huishan and Thomas' wedding dinner banquet
14 Dec--HGC Christmas Party
21 Dec--Friday @ 8
22 Dec--Youth Christmas Party
23 Dec--Christmas chariskidz Party(in charge so need to plan)
25 Dec--Christmas Cantata (performing?)
31 Dec--overnight prayer meeting
1 Jan--ODAC camp

Now add to this the fact that all my Weekends are consumed serving in Chariskidz and Youth
Consider that I have to plan for the youth fellowship and take care of my P6 kids joining us.

All make for an exciting hectic and busy year end hols!

I pray God will keep me sane.

On the upside, I have 1 farewell dinner, 3 Christmas parties, 3 wedding buffets and one wedding dinner banquet to attend! That equals eight days of feasting! EIGHT!

What debauchery Im actually looking forward to stuffing myself! haha

Huishan's Getting Married! SO HAPPY for her.....but so sad she cannot serve in Chariskidz anymore......we will lose a very valuable teacher...

Im not sure I know her beau Thomas but from the photo they look extremely blissful so i wish them all my blessings

Hope their dinner banquet is a nice one! Must start finding clothes for that too.

Evonne and Linette and Kenny and Niu are also going so probably
we can go together...with the other chariskidz teachers we can form an entourage! Haha

Oh! And we say goodbye to 3 wonderful teachers this year: Huishan, Qingwei, Yanchoo

And say HOLA! to 3 more: Peiqi, TingAn and Ethel! haha

SOOOOO happy that finally LTA and turtle can join us.

Time to plan my Schedule; A*STAR Starts Tomorrow!

A*STAR HERE I COME!!!

rainbows over AJC,
sweet dreams, shattered reality
heartbreak, disappointment, despair
ALL a part of God's wonderful plan

2007-10-16T21:03:00.000+08:00

I had a enjoyable escape from reality yesterday evening. i happened to pick up a book on Sherlock Holmes, and subsequently spent the rest of the evening immersed into 19th century London and 221B Baker Street, watching the master sleuth and his clueless sidekick Dr Watson trash the London Police infinity:nil in the investigations department. Honestly i've always wondered what Sherlock Holmes would do if he lived instead in the 21st century. Back in the 19th century they didn't even know the significance of fingerprints. Of course his incarnations today are many and varied, and he has been ressurected by authors like Agatha Christie, Alfred Hitchcock and others. Still the charm and igneguity the original posesses still endears him to many people. Hats off to writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle...too bad we didn't do him as a groundbreaker.

Today we got back our promo results and i had mixed feelings. I did well enough to promote and hopefully retain my Alpha, but the results aren't that great.

General Paper:
B 69% (promos)
B 68.2% (overall)

H1 Econs:
S 41.8% (promos)
S 40.7% (overall)

H2 Maths:
D 53.0% (promos)
D 50.9% (overall)

H2 Physics:
A 75.5% (promos)
A 74.2% (overall)

H2 Chemistry:
B 63.5% (promos)
B 60.3% (overall)

H1 Chinese:
E 45.2% (promos)
E 45.3% (overall)

Total rank points: 61.25 out of 80

That ain't so great. But its an improvement from midyear when my rank points was only 33. still its lousy enough. I was hoping for a better score at chemistry but considering i studied last minute, not much can be demanded.

I managed to make the grade or miss the grade by a bit for all subjects. so quite heng in that sense. But I must improve by a lot to get back good grades.

Well its over. Really thank God that all of this has passed and I can promote. For a few months I was constantly worrying if i would retain. Thankfully God is always faithful.

Now time to chiong PW and Chinese which I really must clear at all costs.

Oh dear how i wish i was sherlock holmes. That man is a born genius.

2007-10-15T15:41:00.000+08:00

After 3 hours of reading angst ridden teen blogs i need a break.

Can't people find something more cheerful to write about? haha after a while all this emoing gets a little tedious.

Anyway heres a pic of my baby cousin:) haha isn't he cute?

Of course la he's my cousin what! haha...

And my other cousin.....

more photos soon! :)

2007-10-14T21:29:00.000+08:00

Haha I'm blogging again......

Yesterday we celebrated my Aunt's, my cousin and my birthday in a mega birthday bash haha but more on that next post.

Today I just want to comment on the chinese service I attended today. Because I missed service on saturday and I had Chariskidz on Sunday morning, so I had to attend the cantonese chinese service, at Shekinah. So I prompty left Chariskidz at 1030 hrs and went down for service.

I soon was prompty lost because I had forgotten that the service was in Cantonese mainly and not chinese. Initially it was a bit difficult to change channel but it was ok. I would just like to point out some differences between their service and my usual one.

First, the people at shekinah have twice the energy of us youths, even though most are 4 times older than us. I was welcomed promptly without any hestitance and the people were very warm. Now i wonder why we youths are so lethargic when it comes to service. Pastor has to coax us out of our seats to welcome each other when at Shekinah, they do it spontaneously.

Second, there is a real communal sense in their worship, and I could see all were truly enjoying worshipping God. I also worshipped God and enjoyed it though all I could sing was the Halleluia refrain coz my cantonese is so bad. But I realised when you really put your heart into worshipping God, there is no barrier to it, definitely not a communication barrier.

Third, their community. These elderly and chinese folks care for one another they way we don't do. The sense of caring for each other really is palpable, unlike we youths when we are so cold sometimes

Its so different with us youths. Sometimes we can be so hypocritical and complacent. Sometimes we can also be warm and welcoming. But I won't deny youth needs a serious wake up call. We have dwindled over the years and now we are so small already. We have so many people missing; people like Jia En, huihui, eilene, jerome, alex, justin etc... we also have ppl who should be with us but aren't like kian hee, cynthia, weizheng, william and more.

The flame of the youth ministry is almost dead. Starved of fellowship, God's word and the communion of God's people, our members are dying off. New life has come in but its just replacing ppl if we keep doing this. What do we do?

I have the answer.

But I'm not posting it now or here.

Bye!

2007-10-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

Ok after 10 months in AJC its time to reevaluate my life.

I have come to a conclusion regarding a few points, noted here.

Its useless and counterproductive being emo coz i landed in AJC.

This stupid problem is so frustrating and has affected everything. Now i see what the real problem is. Its not so much the fact that I could have gone to a better college, nor the fact that AJ has its negative sides. Those are the excuses. Teachers lousy, buildings old...all true, but all just excuses.

Whats the real reason then? Its because I cannot bear to fail my expectations, and I cannot bear to lose. So when things go wrong, I blame the college, and every little thing around me. I placed so much importance on self achievement, on striving to outdo everyone, on regaining my "glory". But i'm never satisfied, and I know why all along, but i just refused to face it. Instead of using my God given talents and abilities to honour him, I have tried to do that and achieve my own personal abitions at the same time.

Ok so what now? Obviously Im not gonna spend all these remaining time moping about what has been. Instead i will focus on the blessings i have not the disappointments. And I know the only thing that will ever satisfy me is Christ himself.

No amount of Phds and scholarships, H3 coursese can ever satisfy you. No amount of social work, friendships and CIP is ever going to satisfy your need of loving others and being loved. No amount of hard work, perseverance and willpower will ever buy you eternal happiness.

Only Christ, and ONLY Him alone, can satisfy that.

Its so obvious, you wonder why some Christians are more interested in getting a pay rise, buying the newest condo or furthering their degrees than in pleasing God and doing the work of Christ. How easy to get caught on the temporal things which you can't even take with you when you die, and forget the most important truth of Christ and the eternal importance of sharing this with others.

This is not to say the abovementioned traits aren't good. Its good to work hard towards success, to build strong bonds betwwen friends and family. But compared to Christ, all this is worth nothing. Nothing you can do out of your own effort will ever please you and satisfy your deepest needs.

Only the pursuit of Christ will do. But i've somehow along the way spent too much time on myself rather than God, rather than on letting people experience the love of Christ. Maybe thats why my passion for the Lord keeps fluctuating, because I'm not wholly devoted to the cause of Christ.

The Bible says you cannot serve God and money. Likewise you cannot serve both God and yourself. Initially for new believers it is perfectly understandable if they have problems sacrificing their time and energy to serve God. But I'm not a new christian. Thats why I'm so ashamed.

Now comes the time to decide, live for Christ or live for myself? Clearly the former is the answer but why am I hesitant?

If I want to do great things for God, I must be willing to surrender my ambition, my dreams, my all to Him. This is the crucial deciding point.

Am I ready? I believe I am. Are you?

Perhaps you are a backslidden Christian. Perhaps you've known about Christ but never accepted him as your savior. Perhaps you know nuts about Christianity. Whichever the case, let me just urge you to give your life to Christ.

Perhaps you wonder whats the big deal. All religions are the same right? Not true. The Bible says Jesus said I am the Way the Truth and the Life. No one come through the father except through Me. So either Christianity is abosolutely true, or its absolutely fake.

Man on his own can never reach that satisfaction of the soul by his own effort. But God has done it for us, allowing Christ to die for us to redeem us from our sins. Whoever accepts him as their Saviour will be free from the consequences of sin, which is death and eternal separation from God. This is undoubtedly the most crucial decision anyone has to make, yet its a pity so few of us take it seriously.

Thats why from now on my priority will not be AJC. Nor ODAC, though its the best CCA around. It will be Christ. The apostle Paul once said, I consider all these things rubbish, that I might be found in Christ, and be found in Him. He regarded Christ as everything to him and all else as good as rubbish

The hebrew translated word for rubbish is actually more accurately interpreted as dung. So not only is other things worthless compared to Christ, they are detestable when they hinder us from Christ.

Obviously this requires a total surrender to Christ. But there must be a first step. Accept you need forgiveness from your sins, and that you alone cannot redeem yourself. Accept Christ as the only way to redemption.

I've said enough. But the greatest thing in my entire life will not be my grades or cca or whatever. It would have been knowing Christ. If you want to experience the indescribable joy of having Jesus in your heart, dont wait.

More next time. Tatas!

2007-10-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

Once again im back.

Been a bit moody recently....when there's nothing to be emo about...its just so irrational...

Apart from dat today was pretty fun

We went to castle beach to build sandcastles haha even though ours was not really as fantastic as the rest but still can pass de...

Altogether quite fun....if i hadn't been so moody it would have been better. Today I think i a bit cranky i keep doing wierd stuff again.

This must stop. Now.

Yesterday i was very irritated by a certain CCA's marketing technique for tomorrow's open house...this was part of their marketing manifesto:

We must persuade students to come to AJC, even if they come just because of our CCA."

Don't you find that very selfish and narrowminded? Its like saying come our JC coz of our CCA, don't worry about other factors! our CCA can be the only reason why u come to AJC.

What if in the end they cant make it into that jc? what will they do? And is AJ so lousy that we have to persuade ppl to come just because a particular CCA is good?

I dont want to say anymore.

Very tired today

Talking to pastor also tiring le.

coming home hearing my family scream at each other also tiring

sleeping also tiring....i've been having more nightmares these days

2007-10-09T20:55:00.000+08:00

YEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BLOG REVIVED!!!

After a hiatus of more than 6 months im back in action yeah! haven't blogged for so long i almost forgot i had a blog:)

Promos being just over last week, i have plenty of time on my hands now so im taking it easy...

Yesterday after eating at Sumo ( only us not Arif) I went to play pool for the first time with Arif, ts, nicholas, kaiwei.....and got royally trashed. Nicholas won 10 out of 11 games...only Arif beat him. Arif lost to me 2:1 when he made mistakes with the black ball haha....first time he sunk the ball in the wrong hole, second time he sunk the ball in the RIGHT hole but the white ball decided to play follow the leader and rolled into the hole too....haha so i won 2 games out of 9 by fluke.

I lost the other seven.

I think im off form.

Nicholas is good le then he still say he not good haha.

Nvm next time we go bowling....hopefully my hands will remember their skill lol.

Then today we went SUMO again....with munchee, nicholas, yh and yf......SUMO is good food but very salty and unheathy.....if i keep eating I'm really gonna be SUMO size soon...

haha like that will ever happen....my BMI is still a heathy 16.8, and fat percentage is single digit.

Today yh and yf and nic also asked me to pray for them.....so i said ok.....then i asked yh why she think my prayer will work then she said as long as u believe in it it wll work.

I happen to disagree. If I believe this blog doesn't exist, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist just coz i dun believe it exists.....

Anyway the hope is one day....just one day.....ok never mind

Recently I've been praying...and thinking...much about what it means to be a Christian in these last days...I've read a lot of biblical prophecy too and increasingly i've been convicted that the time is short.....ok more on that next time.

Jiayous my church O level peeps! May God grant you the wisdom and peace and Joy of the Lord be with you!

2007-05-13T21:29:00.000+08:00

Since I havent installed my microsoft office stuff yet i'll be keeping info in my blogs and email, so ignore this.

這些年　一個人　風也過　雨也走有過淚　

有過錯　還記得堅持什麼

真愛過　才會懂　會寂寞　會回首

終有夢　終有你　在心中

朋友　一生一起走　那些日子　不再有

一句話　一輩子　一生情　一杯酒

朋友　不曾孤單過　一聲朋友　你會懂

還有傷　還有痛　還要走　還有我

bb. will post pics of belumut soon

2007-04-29T22:48:00.000+08:00

Yeah my GP blog's finally up!!!

Check my links for the URL.
I'm going Belumut in 6 days time! haha a one day trek this coming saturday in johore.

When I come back there'll be lots to blog about.

Wait for it okay!

Another thing...I GOT MY AJC SCHOLARSHIP HAHA!!!! I'M $1000 RICHER!!!
(oops*)

Things are really heating up...I'm really behind time now. Gotta Mug!!

Oh yeah I won't be on msn anytime soon coz my PC crashed.

2007-03-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the long hiatus, but recently I've been so busy that I've not been blogging. Not for lack of interesting experiences, just because there's so much to write about I really don't know where to start.

But let me share my ODAC selection camp experiences and my resultant adventure. Three days ago, on Friday, I had my ODAC selection camp, which lasted till the next day's afternoon. My adventures throughout the camp I will write about later, but lets start from the end.

Saturday afternoon was the last part of the camp. After an approximately 30 kilometre hike from 3 am to 1 pm through virgin and secondary forest, we were down to our very last activity of the camp: a six part high elements obstacle course. Needless to say, we had loads of fun climbing them. Now fast forward to the fourth rope obstacle which was by far the easiest as it stood at only half the height of the previous ones( which stood roughly at about 16 metres?). My team was eager to gain points and when we discovered how easy it was, we started to cheong. Once everyone had a go, they decided to send me up again as I was the most experienced cheongster among them. I duly obliged and in less than a minute was up, across like a monkey, and coming down. Now here's the interesting part.

Perhaps it was the merciless, oppressive heat and glare of the afternoon sun. Or perhaps it was due to my adrenaline as I had belayed the previous two climbers and was climbing immediately after them, and we were cheonging, as I said. Or perhaps it was the long trek and lack of sleep. Whichever the case, I was on a high, and in my hurry to get down and score additional points for speed, I inadvertedly missed the climbing metal loop I was aiming for and my left hand's fingers slammed perpendicularly against the smooth wood. Right into the sharp tip of a 1 cm long splinter.

I cannot tell you just how lucky( or unlucky) I was. The climbing poles of the high elements are smooth and maintained regularly for the safety of climbers. Even scraping them with your fingers will probably do no harm. Yet my fingers did not even scrape the wood when they hit it, and the splinter went directly under my index fingernail. Yes, underneath the nail, 0.5 cm into the quick(thats the pink part). Not just the flesh at the tip of the finger, but underneath the nail, where I could clearly see it.

That promptly ended my climbing cum racing and I had to seek first aid. But upon seeing the 1cm long splinter protruding from under my nail, I instictively panicked and did the worst thing possible in such an event. I had been trained in first aid for 4 years already and I did the most daft thing: I pulled the splinter out.

In case you think thats the right thing to do, it is not. NEVER pull out a splinter with your bare hands. Ten to one the splinter will break and some fragments will be left under the skin, making it nigh impossible to remove the fragments stuck right inside. That was what happened and I was already berating myself when I realised what I just did. Too late though, the damage had been done. And all this happened even before I hit the ground.

To cut it short, the splinter had broken into two and one of it was stuck and sealed under my nail like a artefact on display. All efforts of the First aid dept was futile and I had to wait till Sunday to get it out.

So yesterday afternoon I found myself perambulating around Yishun Central trying to find a doctor to remove my 'artefact'. All the clinics were closed. After 40 minutes of wandering, I decided in desperation to circumnavigate the place one last time. Finally I found one.

The doctor attending to me was reassuring enough and in 15 minutes, he had injected local anaesthetic, used a needle to dig out the splinter and pluck it out with tweezers. And all this while I was silently praising the country's medical service for being so efficient and assuring. That is, until I saw the bill.

It was 72 bucks. Can you believe it? An anaesthetic and a sharp needle was all it took and all that for 72 bucks? Wonderful. Of course, I should have expected it, this is still Singapore, where nothing is cheap.

Well, at least its out, but I'm 72 bucks poorer. And I could have easily done it myself, altough with pain and the risk of infection. I could run a service removing splinters with just needles and tweezers and charge quarter the price and I'll be rich.

Apart from that, the camp was still very fun and I'll blog about it later. Before I fall asleep, let me end on a positive note: I wasn't the only casualty on Saturday. There were about 15 others who got injured. And compared to some of them, my splinter wasn't that bad. So count your blessings.

Adios!!

2007-03-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

Finally found time to blog again.

My schedules been packed lately, no time to even sleep well but It all has been worth it thus far.

Updates: I participated in the AJ Speak EZ finals last friday and got only a consolation prize. Not bad, considering I'm among top ten in 830 plus students, but still sad because I lost to Geena, who came in 3rd, and Grace, who came in 1st. Oh well, I can't be good at everything...

Physics challenge on Monday was also a flop. Our toy swerved off course and rammed the lampost, but surprisingly, it won the most creative design award. Actually its nothing more than a plastic bottle and wheels, no decor, but since judging criteria was on recyclable materials, we won.

On a more interesting note, OGF workshop was held on last Sat and it was quite exciting.... Not the games, which I assure you are quite boring, but the cheering and the dances later on. We AJCians have proved that we can make our own fun even if our activities are restricted. Don't believe? Wait for Orientation 2.

This coming Sat will be even more interesting, coz we will be doing mambo and one other dance. Yours truly here has already been booked by a gal to dance together with harharhar... and quite a pretty gal too...

In case you don't know, I'm also a killer dancer. You'd better believe it....Welcome to multitalented Jeremy

But perhaps the most crazy things of all has got to be AJ ODAC. Our finale today was so much fun la, in fact all the ODAC trainings were super fun...

1st week, we had games and bonding. 2nd week, we learnt knots and lashes and had a pretty wild time building our own catapults and firing water bombs.

By the 3rd week, we were kayaking. By the fourth, we were doing rock climbing and bouldering.

Because of AJ and ODAC, I've discovered a whole new side to myself that I didn't know even existed before. The old, hot-tempered, sullen, easily bullied, bitter and self-concious Jeremy is gone. In its place is a new, passionate, enthusiastic, friendly, confident and hyperhigh madcap me. Ever since I joined AJ and ODAC, I felt as if life has been renewed for me. No more pretending, no more hiding my emotions and insecurity under a mask of self-confidence and pride. No more trapped in my cocoon of percieved failure, unfulfilled hopes, people's expectations, and false impressions. The butterfly is emerging. This is the real me.

One thing ODAC has that Zhss BB doesn't: camaraderie and unity. In BB whole squads including my peers used to jeer at me when I asked them to knock it down. In ODAC all the JC1s and 2s cheer me on for something as simple as reaching the top of the rock wall or doing a cheer. They cheer me not as part of any team, but as an individual. In BB I had 95% criticism and 5% encouragement. In ODAC I have 101% encouragement, 0% criticism.

Praise God I've been given a chance to start anew. I've been blessed by God so much, it would be unfair for me to hog all the glory and adulation. This two years will also be the time of most active ministry for God. I wanna bear fruits for Him. And it will happen. By God's grace.

All that I have, all that I had, all that I ever hoped to be is all in His hands.

Truly, God's love and grace exceeds all known boundaries.

2007-02-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

Woah...so dead tired today...but today really was fun...

Two thursdays ago, the JC1s had the first round of the Speak EZ competition, aimed at training public speaking skills. Each of us had to prepare and deliver a 2 min speech on a topic on family or total defence. Sounds like debate right??

Apparently so. Anyway I only started preparing my speech on last last thursday midnight, and presented it the following morning on the same day. Whaddya know, I actually got selected to represent the class at the semifinals.

This morning only I recieved some letter that said something like, Congrats, you're in semifinals, please turn up at LT3 at 2.00pm, on Wed 21 Feb. Which is TODAY!!!!!

Talk about last min work. I rushed through the whole morning editing and cutting my speech, I didn't even have time to rewrite it. I managed to finish on time.

Charlie from my class even folded a crane for good luck for me, then my class signed on it haha...

Today at the Semis I nearly cocked up, then I realised I couldn't win. All the other speakers seemed more charismatic and eloquent than me. But guess what?

I GOT IN AGAIN!!!

Woohoo! I'm through to the finals with 9 others from out of 800 students! That feels really good.
But I'm up in close competition. From Zhonghua, Grace Thiam and of course Geena Chat made it as well. So its down to the finals on this friday, precious little time to prepare.

So its me vs Geena vs Grace on friday. this is gonna be fun; the three of us. One with spunk, one with eloquence and the last with nothing but pure, red hot passion.

I'm also in the finals for the physics challenge also on friday, which really crams up my schedule. Now on friday I have 2 competition finals, one OGF workshop and CCA. then on Sat I still have OGF workshop 2 and fellowship and church service in the evening. And Sunday....well, I'll take it day by day

This is proof that last min work sometimes does wonders.

Tata!

2007-02-19T12:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!

Another lunar year ha passed so quickly...and with every passing year I get less and less hongbaos.

Not that it really matters...but i did get a surprise on new years eve. My uncle(father's brother) came to our place on Saturday night for a steamboat and I was busy thrashing my cousin in chess, when my parents told my aunt about my good O level results. Whereupon she fished out a 50 dollar note, promptly marched into my room and thrust it into my hand, saying it was her reward for me. What a way to make money!!! Haha so now I'm 50 dollars richer.

Aside from that, my hongbao stash this year totals up to 48 bucks so far, and since I'm not doing any more visitation after today I think thats it for this year.

And I recently discovered how addictive counterstrike can be.

Happy hongbao collecting to all!!!

2007-02-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

The results of the big 'O's are finally out.

I could not have been more shocked at my results.

Lets start from yesterday morning...

I woke up at 9 am fully rested and ready to go collect my results. Strange, during the night I kept dreaming about me getting 6 A1s and going on stage...just like my seniors did last year. Considering how badly I thought I did last year, I only expected to get a max of 5 A1s and nothing more. 6 A1s would already be a very rare treat for me. Standing on stage was an impossibility.

Anyway, I didn't feel nervous or anxious at all, even when I arrived in school for the results. I gave myself the luxury of an egg sandwhich before I left. In school, I met up with moses and Junkai, Zainul, Shuqian and we ate lunch. Thereafter, we amused ourselves with card games till we had to go to the hall.

After Miss Tan started her speech,we soon found out plenty of good news. Our school had moved from band 3 to band 2 due to our good results, among other things. Then She started to annouce the top students for GCE O Level 2006 for our school. Top three with 8 A1s were, Jaymie, Cheuk Yiu, and very surprisingly, Chin Lui. More on him later.

Then she started to annouce the people with 7A1s. One by one the names were read to much applause. Gina, Geena, Marialaura, Nora,and a few others. there were 7 in all. Then she reached the last name with 7A1s.

Principal: "From 4E3".....

No surprise, lots of people in my class are way better than me.
Principal: "With 7A1s and..."

Its probably Wanchin, Xiaoying, Eliz or Steph....
Principal: "one C6,...."

ONE C6???? Theres only one person who can do so badly in one subject and ace the rest, and thats....

"Jeremy Su"

I couldn't move. In my wildest dreams I couldn't imagine this possibility. please tell me I'm dreaming......

"please come on stage"

Before I knew it I was stumbling forward, in fact I nearly tripped, and it was all like a dream, the best dream I ever had. I was just so shocked. I couldn't speak for joy and disbelief. I never believed I could get so high results. Never,never,never.

All I can say now is, Praise God. Praise God He has led me through and rewarded me richly with and beyond all that i can ever ask or think. I wouldn't be able to do it on my own ability. Thank you so much Jesus.

If my writing is a bit off style now, its because I'm still in shock. I'll write again when I regain my senses fully. So I have 7 A1s, and my chinese is c6.

7 A1s!!!!!!

Glory to God in the highest!!!

PRAISE HIM FOREVER!!!!!HALLELUJAH!!

2007-02-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

Hi I'm back!!

Sorry I haven't blogged in morre than a month but since college term started I've been busy all seven days of the week. Really got no time to blog.

Some updates: I'm now in AJC for first three months, and currently my CCA is not choir, its ODAC. I passed choir auditions and went for a few practices, but found choir didn't really suit me, so I dropped it.

I don't see the point of spending up to 4 hours a day, 4 days a week practicing and straining my vocal chords just to enjoy 5 minutes of applause. Even if AJ Choir has Gold with Honours at SYF and won international competitions, it just isn't right for me. Some people find satisfaction in getting worldwide acclaim at the expense of hours and weeks and months of practice, but not me. I'll just stick to my bathroom singing.

Some other time, I'll explain why I chose ODAC instead and why I think its by far the best CCA in AJC. Not today. Today was cross country and I'm already dead tired (which would explain my crabbiness today). I'm no match for those super atheletes who can complete 4 click at constant acceleration. Got a stich halfway too, like an idiot.

I also signed up for OGF(orientation group facilitator) for orientation 2 but have yet to see if I made it past interview. I'm taking H2 Physics, Maths and Chem, and H1 Econs. My class only has one Zhonghuarian, thats Amanda Chng.

Since I came to AJC a month ago, I have been discovering new sides to my personality I never knew existed before. Not to mention the zillions of friends I made. But all this for another time, cause I'm starting to get cranky now. I need my beauty sleep.

Some revelations I made at AJC:
1. The college looks ready to fall any time. Everything is cracked, the Audi roof has fallen in, the lab equipment is rusting and electrical components have weak contacts.

2. In JC, homework is defined as work you can never finish at home, or school, for that matter.

3. AJcians have little school culture compared to other JCs.

4. the college is also pretty small.

5. Its possible from AJC to tap into the wireless network at NYP, though I haven't tried it.

6. Its by far the most acessible JC for me, I take only 25 mins to travel to school.

7. Some lessons are conducted in container blocks( the kind they use in construction sites to house workers).

8. At the very least, there's peace and quiet there.

More next time. My eyes are going to resemble panda eyes soon.

Tata!

2006-12-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

South Korea 2006: Day 2

Woke up on Tuesday morning all snug and cosy. Sleeping on heated floors with a firm korean pillow and soft covers is better than any beauty sleep I've known. Anyway, after breakfast it was off to Nami Island, shooting location for Korean drama Winter Sonata. Actually its an artificial island formed by the building of a dam across the Bukhangang river. It was named after a General Nami, a young brilliant military guy who shot up fast but was dragged down fast also. He was promoted to national defense minister at 27 years old, but got executed at 28 by jealous peers. Such is the fate of good, brilliant people...anyway, we went to see the autumn trees made famous by the show, and shot some pics there.

My family..

Here's my pic....

Keeping warm...

After that we went for lunch at Chuncheon, where we had fried chicken and rice cooked on the spot on a hot plate, quite tasty actually...our tour guide's assistant did most of the cooking

Most of the food in Korea comes with a few side dishes and ,of course, kimchi. Almost every meal has rice.

Next stop, Kimchi-making, which turned out to be a disappointment. All they gave us was preserved lettuce and the ready made sauce and showed us how to mix them. After that, we didn't get our Kimchi back, instead they collected it in buckets. Given Koreans' frivolousness, I don't think they just threw the kimchi away. I'm not sure I want to know what they did with it.

Nearby was a little shack of costumes where we dressed up in Hanboks, the traditional Korean dress, and the men's attire.

Thats all thats notable for Tuesday. More pics when I have the time
Oh, theres one more. I took this pic of one little girl in our tour group. She and her younger sister were quite adorable and cute haha, so I managed to get one last pic:

2006-12-05T12:03:00.000+08:00

Some more pics.....

Thats me any my family posing.

Thats where the seasoing and sauces were kept...

This was the kitchen, prep area for the king's meals

low income residential area aka Korean kampongs
this was where they took the village scenes...

I'll blog more about my trip after I come back from class chalet.
Adieu...

2006-12-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

South Korea 2006

DAY 1: Monday 27 November

After a 6 hour flight on Asiana Airlines, we touched down in Incheon Airport in Seoul at 0600 hrs. Couldn't sleep on the plane, so I was pretty tired by that time. First thing that greeted me when we stepped out of the airport with the tour group was a cold blast of air right in my face.

There is nothing that makes you come fully alive like 6 degrees celcius cold wind blowing at you. It was worse than being doused with ice water. Instantly I felt so much more awake. It was cold, veeery cold.

Korea is in Late Autumn season now and the temperature is constantly below 10 degrees centigrade. My face was freezing, my hands were numb.

After that we proceeded in a heated bus(whew) to the Dachangjin filming site in Gyeonggi-do province. The whole set was built on the side of a steep granite cliff, so it was quite majestic. FYI, Korea has a lot of spectacular landscapes because 70 % of the peninsula is covered with granite and limestone mountains, not high but quite steep. there are 9 provinces in all.

This is the main entrance:

Where the king sat to eat

This was how they pounded the rice

Next stop after a delicious lunch was the Daemyong Vivaldi Park resort on Mt Maebong 2,132 feet above sea level. Its a ski resort but the snow wasn't ready. Anyway we went to the Water theme park there to chill, or rather warm up. There are hot spring spas there and I tried them for an hour or so. the spas are divided into Men and women sections because, well, you have to go in totally nude. But its worth the experience. One hot spring in particular, was open to the sky unlike the rest which were indoors. So you can feel the drizzle of cold rain on your face while the rest of you is immersed in 40 degree hot spring water. Super shiok.

I did'nt take any pics coz photography is not allowed. It would be porn wouldn't it?

After that we went for dinner and back to the hotel. Our tour guide told us to try sleeping on the heated wooden floor like traditional Koreans and so I did. It was really quite comfy and warm sleeping on the floor with those firm Korean pillows.

The days are shorter here, with sunset at 5pm, and so I couldn't get a good picture, so here's one in the morning:

Because Korea is located at high latitudes the sun barely rises 45 degrees of elevation in autumn. the climate is temperate(eastern and western, depending) so the vegetation there is mainly temperate forests. There's oak, pine, maple etc.

Thats all for now. More later OK?

2006-12-04T00:25:00.000+08:00

I"M BAAAAACK!!!

Touched down in Changi Airport at 9.45pm Singaporean time. Slept the whole night and day, and after that I was too busy unpacking, gaming, editing photos etc.

Korea has been an interesting place, so I'll share my travels with you.

So here goes nothing.

2006-11-24T15:07:00.000+08:00

I finally decided to go AJC.

After much of ruminating on the subject, I realised VJ doesn't have anything special that attracts me, so I'll play it safe and Go to AJC.

Two more days and I'm off to Korea. For a week. Hope I don't freeze.

Shuqian's now in Turkey and blogging his heart out. I'll just be content to blog about my trip when I come back, cause, I can't bring my laptop there.

Anybody want anything from Korea, tell me, if I find it I'll buy it for you.

Provided its within budget.

Photos will soon be up.

Toodles!

2006-11-23T23:09:00.000+08:00

Yaaaaay!!!!! O's finally over!!!!

Okay, thats like old news already, but I have been too busy to blog...

Anyway, I'm expecting single digit L1R5 for O's but I still don't know where I'm going. For the PAE, I'm still deciding between victoria JC and Anderson Jc.

Both are good Jcs but VJC is at Kembangan while AJC is at Yio Chu Kang. I live in Yishun.

In short, VJC is very far, but its good and their facilities are newer than AJC. There I'll be pressured to succeed, but I'll be more stressed.

AJC is less than half an hour's journey from my block, but it looks pretty old and the atmosphere there is more relaxed. I'll be less stressed, but I may slack due to lack of stress.

CCA and school programmes, and awards pretty much the same for both.

Any words of advice or pearls of wisdom, drop them off at my tagboard. I have till 4pm tomorrow to decide.

For the uninitiated, PAE means provisional admission exersize, for the first three months JC.

Tata for now....

2006-09-29T21:24:00.000+08:00

Final tally for Prelims...

English
85.6 %-A1
Very very pleased with that grade...its the first time I managed to score so well for English, though I hope I can maintain for the 'o's.

Chemistry
63.3%-B4
Very disappionted, I was banking all on my Chem and it flopped so miserably. Definitely underperformed. I was quite horrified. Even Mrs Lim is surprised.

Physics
65.3%-B3
Better than chem, but still not good, I expected at least an A2.

Maths
93.9%-A1
Hmm...not bad, especially since I scored 98\100 for paper two, but as Mrs Koh says, cannot be complacent.

A Maths
75.0%-A1
Just made it...very risky. Must really buck up.

Geography
74.2%-A2
Just missed it...I wanted an A1. But at least I did get a distinction. Many failed this time.

History\SS
56.0%-C5
My worst failure. Can't forgive myself for not passing History. All along I've been cruising along at A1\A2, then suddenly BOOM! down to C5. Hiaxxx..

So thats it. Some subjects did better, like Maths and English, but the rest is all a big disappointment. If I got this kind of grades in 'O's, I'll never forgive myself...so must really work hard now.

L1R5 is 12, not low enough to enter VJC or AJC....so I dunno where I'm going for first three months.

But at least theres a consolation: so far I'm the highest in Geog and English in the level. That's some achievement, especially considering Zhonghua has some smart linguists like Naomi, Kathleen, Geena, Marialaura etc.

Namarie.

2006-09-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

The honeymoon has ended.

Reality has just crash landed.

4 days of academic abandon, gaming and slacking ended with todays results.

Horrible day today. (Well, actually the day is the Lord's, so it can't be horrible....but you know what I meann..)

I barely managed to scrape a pass for Chemistry practical, all because of 1 stupid mistake that cost me 6 marks. Its too stupid to repeat here.

Then Physics was better, but overall still a low B3, coz my paper 2 section A pulled me down a lot.

1 bright spot though, English is good, got a 42\50 for Paper two, combined with my oral marks 36\40, and provided my Paper 1 clears, an A1 is possible.

Then in the evening, scared myself silly when I thought I lost my library book, then realised after 30 minutes that it was not stolen, just misplaced.

Physics practical today also hard, but maybe cause I'm in a bad mood.

2 more days to finish computer games and after that, no electronic entertainment till O levels.

2006-09-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

"I am a Christian"
author unknown

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'"
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but,
God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.

That pretty sums up what being a Christian means. Short and sweet, but very true, and sometimes we tend to forget. Need I say more?

Prelims are FINALLY over, but ended on a bad note. Todays A Maths was a killer. I'm making no speculations, but hopefully L1R5 will be below 13.

Tomorrows a holiday, not sure what to do yet. Darryl wanted to play pool, but no one else seems to agree but me. Think I'll just go swim. Or take Darryl one-on-one at pool again and thrash him (again).

I just realised we all only have 4 weeks left in Zhonghua. After that is "o" levels and then we go our separate ways already, maybe never to see each other again....

Then again, change is good. I'm looking forward to JC life and NS. Anyhow, Zhonghua is not that fantastic a place anymore.

Tata for now...

2006-09-18T12:55:00.000+08:00

Okay, there's two more papers to go for Prelims, Maths and A maths Paper two. Today was Geography Paper 1, quite easy. I thought of going swimming once I reached home, but the rainclouds had other ideas. Thankfully, Rainie, oops, rainy season should be over soon.

I've started learning plucking on the guitar, picked up a few tips here and there over the weekend and decided trying it out. Its different from strumming where you concentrate on the fingering and the strumming becomes habitual. Plucking requires both your hands to coordinate, and follow the rythym as well. You use the thumb for the base strings (the first three metal ones) and the middle three fingers for each of the last three strings. Desmond told me, theres no fixed rule, its all about feeling.

Challenging, but i like challenges, so I blindfolded myself and tried.

Its working out well. I also discovered I can play complete songs, even those with basic bar chords like B minor, blindfolded and it sounds exactly the same as before...it all boils down to feeling the strings.

I guess this is how Chen Weilian learned guitar despite being blind.

After prelims, I am going to try writing a GP and conduct a survey on typical Singaporean behavior. It'll be interesting to see how Singaporeans view themselves.

I wonder if next year I should come back to BB as a premier officer. After 4 years of commitment, I don't feel like putting in another 2 more. But I'll miss BB for sure. I think many of my juniors want me to come back, though I can't guess why...my heart also tells me to go back, but maybe its time to move on...

My juniors seem to like me a lot, they keep asking me about this and that, so I think that I have gained a small measure of respect. Recently I was talking to my Sec 3 junior, and he told me this (names have been changed to protect identity):

"When you was the CSM hor, I everytime follow Robert, thought you were very harsh and bossy...now that I'm in the Council and a squad leader, I realise that actually you were working in our best interests and the Company's interest.....not like Robert, who didn't really care about us..."

That sentence brightened up my day. Perhaps all that work and hardship has not been in vain.

I'm sure a certain Mr Chew whould strongly disagree. To that Mr Chew, the next few paragraphs are for you.

If you think that I'm useless as a Boy and as a CSM, and that you could have done better than me, its okay. I rest my case. All this time you kept saying I was worthless, arrogant, bossy, doing a one man show. I'm not going to argue. I don't deny that when I started as CSM, I didn't really do a good job. Nor have things improved for 48th. But is it solely my fault? All this time you kept saying negative things about me. Have I ever retaliated and slandered you? No, I even told others about your good points. I reserved my comments to myself. Thing is, you know in Matthew Chapter 7 it talks about taking the plank out of your own eye before you attempt to clear other people's eye. It also says do not judge.

I don't know about you, but my conscience is clear. I did not judge you. I tried to correct my shortcomings with quite a bit of sucess. Have you?

Anyhow, Shao Yong, I want to thank you. Thank you for making my life miserable for the past two years, because it made me realise the true meaning of "The joy of the Lord is my strength."
Thank you for making things so hard and stressful for me until I started contemplating drastic measures every other day, because I learned to rely on God and not my own human strength....as it says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". Thank you for looking down on me, because I realised the difference between friends and "friends".

Although I shuldn't be thanking you, I should be thanking God. Now I see why He let you into my life. It was not to make me miserable, but instead drew me closer to Him, to rely less on much-vaunted but fallible human strength and more on God. As the Scriptures say, God does all things for the good of those who love Him. I don't know where I'd be if Christ had not been there for me, to carry me when I was too weak to walk life's road.

Praise the Lord. Shao Yong, don't you think God is good? Surely He must have helped you in your life as well. Anyway, just to clarify, I'm not bitter or resentful about you. I've learned to look at the bigger picture. Oh and for your contributions to 48th, you have my thanks.

As Christian singer Don Moen likes to say:

GOD IS GOOD!!!!

ALL THE TIME!!!!

2006-09-13T14:05:00.000+08:00

The prelims have come in full force...and so far its ok except for today's Physics paper which was a killer. English Paper 2 was interesting, about Tolkien...loved it...

Tomorrows Chemistry, and sure to be a killer.

Can't stay too long, my Mum's coming home anytime now.

2006-09-03T23:41:00.000+08:00

Woah...its been a very good restful weekend...and i even got some work done...

Saturdays inaugurual service was very good, and the hall was filled all the way to the back. Quite a lot of newcomers and supporters from the adult's service..and I think most of us felt the Spirit's presence....It was really touching that day.

We had one salvation, but I'm sure there's more to come. Many visitors are coming back this saturday. There was this song that was really touching that day, a performance by auntie Jenny Carey and Lily. The chorus was very beautiful, the whole song went like this:

If I should stand or I should fall
You know me well, You see it all
My darkest nights, my deepest fears
I cry to You and You will hear

Chorus:
Boundless love Come carry me
To the place where I at last am free
Where I belong and You will be
Where all of You is all of me
Boundless love Come carry me

I will rest under Your wings
I find Your peace beneath the cross
Knowing You, my one desire
Take me now to where You are

Here we stand now in Your name
You've changed our hearts, we're not the same
Your love has captured all we are
Oh Lamb of God, sweet morning star

Ending refrain:
Where I belong and You will be
Where all of You is all of me
Boundless love Come carry me

...or thats what I remember. Now back to books, and for all my fellow brethren out there, may Boundless Love come carry you, through hope and fear, through darkness and sorrow and despair; through temptation, troubles, right through back to Him.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 8:38

2006-09-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

So begins the 11 day break cum mugging period, and prelims are 12 days away. 12 only...so short, yet why do I still feel so lazy? Need to study, need to study, need to stt...zzzzzzz

Maybe what Mr Yeo said today holds water...sometimes its good to exercise a bit before studying. In any case, I must find something to motivate me or else I won't even bother to study.

Tomorrows Saturday at Seven already, where does the time go? I'm bringing Nigel along, pray that'll he likes it...

Happy mugging......

2006-08-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

Todays Chemistry Practical is so messed up... I was sooooo careless...I did get 29.0 for the volume of P, but since when does 50 - 29.0 = 31.0??? oh Noooooooo......

On the bright side, theres now time to revise other subjects and Saturday@Seven starts in 3 days...so everyone is veri excited...I am too..

2006-08-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

I just read Ryan's last post, about the T-shirt thingy. Impressive English, but the rest seems a little pointless to me.

More on this tomorrow. If recognition for our efforts is our motivation to help others, then we shouldn't do it in the first place. And Ryan, when I said I was used to it, it DOESN"T mean I can willingly brush off your bullying as a mere joke. Like I said, more on this tomorrow. I need to consult Someone first.

The above paragraphs may sound angry, but I'm not. I simply want others to see my stand on bullying (more tomorrow).

The last few days have been really exciting, particularly Saturday. Our church is going to start a new youth service on Saturday, and it will be awesome. Everyone at Charis is sensing it. We're poised for a revival.

Last time something so significant happened to the youth ministry and the church was years ago, when I was in Primary school. This time its coming again, just much, much more powerful.

Saturday, I went for the prep meeting for the service and, well, the feeling was like, um, inexplicable. It was something like a rollercoaster teetering on the edge of the topmost rail, ready to plunge.

All who were there will agree, and none can deny, the Spirit is preparing a great work in us. It will be beyond our human comphrehension, so great and awesome that none can deny the power of God. I could just feel the Spirit's power coursing through the room, empowering those present.

That night was fantastic, but only a shadow of things to come. Soon, the floodgates of heaven will burst, and not even the gates of hell will prevail. We can only take faith, believe, and embrace the power of the living God.

Broken bodies will be healed. Hearts will be mended. Souls will be redeemed. I can feel it. All of us can.

To my non-christian friends, this may sound absurd. But I am writing this primarily for my sake. I will take faith and believe.

I believe, Lord, that you who have started a good work in us will see it to completion. and this I will proclaim. I believe miracles beyond logic and reasoning will happen. I believe many will come to hear of God's saving grace. I believe that within 3 services, the santuary will be filled to capacity. In 5 services there won't even be enough seats. When this things happen I will blog again.

Please note I am saying this even before the saturday services start. If this extraordinary things happen, ask me how I knew, I'll be glad to tell you. I have such a strong conviction about this, It can only come from God.

Charis youths and tabbers out there, I encourage you to pray. Pray fervently, and take the faith to believe. I personally will set aside 10 mins minimum a day to pray about this. Let us pray, and it will happen beyond what we ever dreamed of.

Lord, the stage is set, the curtains up, audience seated. We are ready for You. Come, Lord Jesus!

2006-08-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

Today is the day of release of the GCSE O level mother tongue results...and I PASSED!!!!

That's all I really cae about, coz now that i have passed, I'm eligible for entry into JC. Anyway I got C6 and a Merit for Oral, which really surprised me, coz I was expecting a pass.

I've no choice but to retake but frankly I don't care if I fail. My chinese is too bad to be taken for L1R5 anyway.

I remember nervously waiting in the hall and Miss Tan told us we had 100% passes, I was so relieved.

WWHHHEWWWWW!!!!!!

Anyway, as I said Yesterday, the school confiscated all our books and stored them in funny places. Sec 4 stuff was in the big blue container box.

HeeHee....juz like find the thimble... the school will forever have to resort to this crude methods of playing games. Some people never grow up.

7 more days to my Founder's badge!! Harhar.....

2006-08-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterdays National day was spent at my Dad's friend's house at a party with cold soba, German Bradwurst, two huge cheesecakes, salad and nine durians to top it all off, all in air-conditioned comfort, watching the parade.

Arvind and Jacinda was there, and a few others I know. When we came to the part where the parade commander addresses the President, an interesting scenario was presented. What if something like this happened:

Parade Commander: Mr President, the Parade is formed up and ready for inspection, Sir.

President: Yes, so?

P.C: (whispers) Sir, you are supposed to inspect the Parade!

President: Inspect for what?

P.C.: But Sir,..

President: Are you telling me what to do?????

P.c: your Excellency, didn't you read the pre programme schedule, Sir?

President: Okay, they look really good with shiny shiny buttons. Can lah, can lah...

Or maybe something like this...

P.C: Mr President, may I have your permission to dismiss the Parade, Sir?

President: Lets wait a while more, they look so nice and pretty...

Okay, enough of spoofs. Altogether still a good NDP, our President looked very dignified, Parade was good, though I didn't really like the 2006 formation, especially by the Arny, didn't seem suitable.

This year the song was quite well choreographed, sung by a pretty but skinny lady called Kiera Gong or something, wierd name but good, husky voice, not bad.

I have one more question though. How did emcee Gurmit Singh manage to go from hosting NDP to hosting Idol immediately after NDP? Both shows were live and last I saw him was 10 minutes before the end of the telecast NDP.

Gurmit: Eh, Ah Boon, where's my chauffer? Go buy Tau Huay Zui for you?! Aiya never mind, you drive me....where's my boots? No lah, not the yellow one, the leather one!.....Yellow one use to smack your face lah, not host Idle show hor!...

Harhar....tomorrow is the day we get back O level MT results lor...but for all zhonghuarians, there will be a rude surprise awaiting!Har har, tml then see zhonghua go up in uproar!!!! Heehee...so fun...

2006-08-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

todays cross country went better than expected, and no, it didn't rain for once.

I managed to get in 29th position. Zainul was 39th position. Too bad there's only the two of us from 4E3 in the top forty. The girls did better though, but even Baoxian, coming in first and running 1.2 km less, cannot beat Yongcheng. That super fit idiot got, like, 18 plus minutes for a 4.8 km run, which is impossible for me.

Still, an enjoyable run, made it to top thirty. Ryan came just after Zainul and then Junkai.
Just lost to Jan and Gary Tong in the final stretch, coz I cheong at the wrong part and so no strength left.

Zhixian also beat me, he got 19th position. Ji Xiong got 7th. Pei Xian got twelve in position.
Yongcheng, obviously, was first.

At least got the chance to run. Now back to mugging and tons of homework.

2006-07-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

I finally found somewhere to get good durian...for free.

Two days ago I went to Yishun park for a walk, just opposite my house. I walked past the two huge durian trees at the other side, and happened to look up.

There were still scores of durian hanging from the branches, about 30 metres up, and there were definitely good. How do I know? The smell was so strong, it was heavenly.

They looked like miniature mines hanging in the air, spiky thorns ready to explode.By the way, Yishun park used to be part of a small durian plantation, before NPB made it a park.

So I decided to walk around and see if there were any on the ground. Then I realised, I'm not alone. Two Ah-peks were standing at the base of one tree, literally waiting for the durians to fall. I realised where they came from. An enterprising group of Ah-peks had been selling durian at 6 dollars per kg (an outrageous price) at my void deck for about 1 and a half weeks. Now I knew where they got their golden fruit.

Having no time to wild away like them, I left. Yesterday (that means Friday, now's already past midnight) I returned (after a 9-6 win of pool with darryl lau). This time not only were the Ah-peks there,they brought along their wives! Thay already had at least 6 collected and were waiting for more.

It seems that I have serious competition. That's why I'm going there this morning when light breaks, as durian usually falls in early morning.( even now they are falling, I can almost hear it)

Of course, there is always the risk of a durian smashing on top of your head, but, oh well, anything for good durian!

Ryan, if you are reading this, don't get ideas into your head and start prospecting for durians as well. Remember, you need to first beat a bunch of old men and a carrot, all durian mad.

rambutans today, durian tomorrow!!!!

2006-07-09T22:39:00.000+08:00

May today live on in my memory...
Until I am called home...

Today is a memorable day... I will not forget it. Today is the day that marks the completion of my work in BB and the culmination of all the hard work put in.

Today is the day I handed over my portfolio as Company Sargeant Major and officially stepped down, after seving 48th as CSM for exactly 1 year and 14 days.

Today was a beautiful day, everything just went so well for me. The service and sermon were very appropriate and today is one of the rare days I felt the presence of God fill me like a spring of life throughout the day. The worship was so heartfelt, my eyes watered.

Looking back this past one year, leading the company has never been easy. At times I felt overwhelmed and drowned by circumstances and from problems dumped on me by those who once called me friend. But mere words cannot express my gratitude and thankfulness to Him who was able to keep me from stumbling and whose grace is sufficient for me, who has protected my health and sanity and carried me through when I no longer had the strength to carry on....

Thank you Lord....

It has been a most enriching, learning, fulfilling and heartbreaking year for me but I leave 48th with the knowledge that I have served faithfully and willingly and have done my best. I have run this race, and I have fought the fight. and now my reward awaits me when I return back to the Lord. I have treasured the moments of touching one's life, changing it for the better, leading and guiding my juniors.

Ultimately, it seems, at every end of the road, it matters not what you have accomplished, but rather how you have accomplished it. It matters more how the race is run, not the end result. I may not have accomplished much outwardly, but I know that I have made a difference in some lives and I have held on and endured tribulation, and now my work is done.

The new CSM is now SGT Zuyao, and it was a good choice. As I formally handed the Red sash to him, I was reminded of 1 year ago when Peison handed over to me.

That is, his whole body was trembling. It is quite natural actually, taking over the company is a huge task and priveledge and honour and can be overwhelming.

Hahas and I also got my promotion to staff sargeant.

Congrats to James for his promotion to sargeant. I know who will be the first to congratulate him tomorrow heeheehee...

I think I have chosen to focus on the positive than the negative. Instead of focusing on the pains and hurts and heartbreaks, i choose to focus on the good things. Its no use dwelling on anger and resentment. If my Father in heaven can die for those who cursed him, out of love, I believe i can do the same.

So the day ends and an era ends, tomorrow starts a new era, a new day. the younger generation will now lead. My work is complete. And as the GB would say:

Captain Divine, our work is now complete
And as we part, we gather at Thy feet
To give our labours and ourselves to Thee
Without reserve, Thy cause to serve
O Captain Hear us as we pledge to be
True to our creed, in thoughts and deeds

And as for us , we say:

Great God who knowest all our needs
Bless Thou our watch and guard our sleep
Forgive our sins of thoughts and deeds
and in Thy peace Thy servants keep
We thank Thee for the day thats done
We trust Thee for the days to be
Thy love we learn in Christ Thy son
O may we all His glory see

AMEN, Lord....

2006-07-06T19:09:00.000+08:00

I think I've discovered a new talent.

6 days ago on the night before youth day, I had a fantastic dream. really something special. Dreams don't usually come for the asking, but it does happen. Anyway, this dream was about

me and some friends stumbling into a fantasy world where everything is so different, and we were wandering aroundthis wide valley, which was like a heavenly place. Totally out of this world. Everything was like a more pure form of itself, the grass greener, fruit tastier, juicier, the wind calmer and yet a wildness in it as well. In the valley on the North sides was a city, one that gave an impression of gracefulness, beauty in its soaring heights. When we walked toward it, we.......

At this point I awoke. Then I thought, what a waste, and fell asleep again and almost immediately the visions began again....

we, or rather I , saw a girl, probably my age, looking at us amongst the trees. I can't remeber her facial features, but it struck me that she had an exceeding beauty, both lithe and sun kissed look, and she seemed to be beckoning us toward the city or whatever that was. So we when, and I had the distinct impression of flying through the air at will, speeding towards the city....

Then I woke again. And thought, what kind of story would I tell to continue the dream? One where I get to meet the mysterious girl personally and perhaps her family. So I sank back to dreaming....

...we were in the blackness of the city's bowels, rushing up to a pinprick of light that steadily enlarged itself to a wide hole in the floor of the city, and there we saw rows of what resembled letterboxes, and appeared to be residential. There was a young woman who resembled the girl, she said she was her mother. I spoke for my friends, and she agreed to host us. I glimpsed the fleeting shadow of the gorl, and then.......

At this point I found that I could actually, it seems, direct my thoughts and actually plan my dreams the way I wanted to dream them. It sounds absurd, but I tried to test my idea. So...

For what seemed like eternity, we spent exploring the new world and the girl showed me many pecularities, including the ability to fly. She had no name but a warm and cheerful personality which poured sunshine into my soul. All too soon we had to leave.......

So far so good.....

After saying farewell, we were flying towards the sunset, facing another city which gleamed golden sparkles bathed in the sun;'s last rays, sitting on a promotory or precipice at the valley side, like a jewel still in its ore but already crafted magnificently. The beauutiful girl accompanied us as we accelerated at breakneck pace......

Here, I woke, and dreamt no more. I know this not to be imagination as it was too vivid and yet mystically fuzzy, like how a dream appears in the morning. Yet it left me with a warm fuzzy feeling of wellbeing inside that lasted the day. So much for a Youth day present....

So, I've been trying to continue dreaming but seems when I'm too tired, I won't even dream. So tioday I'm sleeping early and putting away thoughts of the World Cup, C. Ronaldo's acting skills, the samba boys lack of chilli football and Mrs Lim's impending high blood pressure and stroke, not to mention sore throats. I'm sure this will work, so I'm proving it tonight. If it works then it shows I can create my own dreams and virtual reality at will. Cool right???

For those who believe in the power of dreams, sweet dreams

Me, the phoenix will dream soon.

Tata!

2006-06-30T22:45:00.000+08:00

Dang...its horrible being sick...yesterday in class my nose kept running and I had a splitting headache and fever, so I decided to take MC today, becoz today is my chinese Oral exam, so can rest at home. I'm better now, but then I've missed 1 day of lessons.

Today's Oral went as expected, but I think I would have done better if I was well. It's over anyway...

2006-06-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

Finally got a new blogskin. I was juz searching around when I came across this and I simply had to get it!!! It just feels so right, so perfect, maybe even heavenly?.....

anyway, I also started revision proper. This week I'm doing A Maths today, E maths tomorrow and SS on Fri and Sat and finally History on Sunday. Mock prelims just around the corner, so must not get distracted!!!!

Bye!

2006-06-13T15:10:00.000+08:00

hello..i'm back...
finally theres a chance to rest at home, though must not forget to revise.
nothing much happening otherwise, so nothing much to write about.
theres one thing though....

Recently I bought this book, "Eldest", by Christopher Paolini, and so far its quite an interesting read.
its quite long, about 650 pages abt half an A4 size, so you can imagine how thick, so thick, in fact, that the hardcover and softcover weigh about as heavy.

This book is the sequel to the first book I bought in April, "Eragon", which is about a boy named Eragon who finds a dragon egg, which hatches, which brings him lots of troubles, which forces him to flee with his dragon and his impromptu teacher in all things magical.

To cut it short, this is a fantasy tale with a difference, it connects more personally with the reader and doesn't bore with long, meaningless tales anda thousand alien characters, places, events, etc that really tire the reader.

Its long, but sweet and concise, and its numerous short chapters make for light reading.

This book, Eldest, continues where the author left off, and follows the same short chapter structure of Eragon. It is twice as long though, and more characters and places, some of which are actually quite trivial are mentioned.

The slow buildup of suspense and tension, though, makes up for that. Right now i'm at page 207 or so. I highly recommend this book and Eragon.

qther than this, not much's happening, though it keeps raining here in Yishun.

2006-05-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

Yay...Chinese O's finally over.......dun haf to study anymore!!!!

Left oral and LC but those are quite easy.......but if fail then got to retake.....never mind...thank God its finally over!!!

Yesterday after chinese O's went to play basketball with Joseph, Darryl, James and Anling (is that how her name's spelt???) then watch Joseph flirt with u noe who and Mr Tay kept jibing them (as if he dun haf like that....dotz).......

Then me and Darryl go to yishun GV to watch X-men 3 since its near our home....we reached there 3.10, bought tickets, grabbed munchies and the 3.30 movie starts. Zainul supposedf to come but thern he pangseh us...dunno why, X men so cool

Jean Grey becomes the Phoenix, and has unlimited power....she can just destroy everything and reduce ppl to dust juz by standing there and looking like a model....hahas. She's even more powerful than Magneto. Magneto can lift a milelong bridge, (cars plus mutants included) but she can basically reduce 100 plus ppl and mutants and a superfortified lad to dust in under a minute......really peifu her..

Dun underestimate Phoenixes (moi included). They are powerful...sometimes too powerful, and dangerous.

btw, Magneto is supposed to be a Class4 mutant, and Phoenix a 5 class (sb told me omega level) but to me, she's unclassified...her power is like armageddon.

Halle Berry looks quite good as storm(at least she has style).

bye, people...

2006-05-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

Life is good.....

Just yesterday I was walking to school, with my BB uniform hanging with my bag in its casing....then ....its hard to describe, suddenly felt a sense of familiarity and routine, feeling the caress of the uniform against my pants and...wow, I've been carrying it that way for 3 and a half years in Boys Brigade, and gosh! this was probably the last time i'll ever bring it to school. Its usually the little things you don't notice that mean the most.

Its somehow comforting to know that my work and responsibilities in BB as Company Sargeant Major is almost finished....Thank God He's guided me this past 11 months, only HE and I noe how many times he sustained me and was my only steadfast Friend.........God is truly good.

More on BB later.....soon.

My past blog entry seems to have attracted a lot of attention...which is good and also bad. Oh well,,,,

Niu Jin and Ting An, if u are here tag me so I noe....adieu

2006-05-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

Ok...first, some lighthearted stuff.
I realised this things been circulating in other blogs and thought it was interesting, so i'm trying it.
Okay, here goes nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Write down 20 of ur friends' names.

1. Fangling

2.Weisheng

3. Shuqian

4. Joel

5. Jiaen

6. Jeriel

7. Niu Jin

8. Nicole

9. Minshian

10. Ryan

11. James

12. Zhixian

13. Qianyu

14. Justin

15. Yeeting

16. Peison

17. Sharlene

18. Zainul

19. Clarissa

20. Arvind

1. How did you meet 14?

childhood friends ...met in church, known each other for 12 years?

2. What would you do if you never met 1?

I'd be crushed. She was, and still is, one of my best friends.

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?

Arvind with Minshian?? Won't even happen, they're not suitable. If it happens, i'll just sit back and enjoy watching them.

4. Did you ever like 19?

Claire's attractive, but no, not really. Anyway, she's booked.

5. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?

Sharlene and Jeriel? Perfect. Or near it.

6. Describe 3.

Shuqian? Steady, Grounded, but funny and quirky. Likes to whip people with his tie, torture invertebrates, throw "javelins", act funny etc. Quite a nice guy actually.

7. Do you think 8 is attractive?

Once. Now, no.

8. Tell me sth about 7

A very good friend, trustworthy. Stands up 4 ppl.

9. Do you know any of 12's family?

Nope, just Zhixian.

10. What's 8's favourite?

Everything trendy, fashionable and green

11. What will you do if 18 confessed she/he likes you?

I would vomit all night long

12. What language does 15 speak?

English, Chinese

13. Who is 9 going out with?

Minshian? I thinkshe hangs out most with her girlfriends.

14. Howold is 16?

seventeen

15. When was the last time you talkedto 13?

um, today after A maths test.

16. Whats 2's fave band/singer?

Weisheng? Don't really noe, never asked. He does'nt seem to care so much either way.

17. Would you ever date 4?

NO! I'm not gay, and and he's already my best friend.

18. Would you ever date 7?

Maybe,...

19. Is 15 single?

Yup.

20. What is 10's last name?

Lin.

21. Would youever be in a serious relationship with 11?

Obviously not.

22. Which school is 3 in?

Same school and class as me.

23. Where does 6 live?

Two blocks away from me.

24. Whats your fave thing about 5.

Humourous

25. have you ever seen 1 naked?

No

Thats all. Bye!!!

2006-05-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

Hmm...a lot of things have been happening these last few days...

CCA has already ended but i still seem so busy... and i still find time to play a hour of soccer almost all weekdays...waste of time..

with only three more weeks to the o level mother tongue paper...i need to work hard to score as high as i can...must jia you...

And the bad news a few days ago...another Zhonghua student died...his name was Jie Cai, died after fighting for his life after a car accident. For those hu know him, it must be painful to accept his passing....he was well liked.

Its too bad i didn't know him personally, but perhaps also a blessing as it wouldn't hurtmuch. But he is still a fellow student and i think all of us will miss him.

Anyway, i am watching the election results now... will blog more tml, if i have the time.

2006-04-25T21:34:00.001+08:00

I seem to have become a hit target for misfortune.

It all started with the moth. Big, black, beeeauutiful moth flying into the classroom and creating a fuss.

Make no mistake, i like moths, insects, etc. that time, all of us were trying to guide it out of the class, but it kept banging its head on the walls, so sad... then i threw my bottle of glue at it, trying to scare it away.

My marksmanship has been appraised by friends when I do archery, but i never knew how good i was.

Believe me, it takes pretty good skill and luck (or absence of it) to hit a moth 3.5 metres away with a 10 cm long object and split it evenly in half at the body.

At that moment, i felt like Robin Hood having just shot Richard the Lionhearted in his Lionheart.
(pardon my literature)

then, today, i wrote out of topic for my Prelim Chinese Paper 1, and couldn't finish in time.

But, as they say, the BEST is saved for LAST.

There was Chem practical today, and we had to do 2, not one experiment involving comcentrated acid, and we were dead tired and hungry.

Although haste was necessary, all went well till the last section of expt 2.
We had to pour boiling water into lead iodide precipitate and then bring the whole mixture to boil.
We were supposed to obtain beautiful sparkling yellow crystals after that.

My partner Stephanie was quite fast, she was already boiling water.
1/4 of H2O in a SMALL test tube.
My back was turned to her; i was about to take some chemicals, i think.

However, i think all of us forgot 1 thing, NEVER boil water in a small test tube.

Why? Well, the test tube confines the movement of the water molecules as they change from liquid to gas.
This is a very exothermic reaction, so one moment the molecules would be moving slowly, and the next they would be increasing rapidly. Confining the movement in such a small space forces the molecules to also move sideways as there is no room to expand above.

The result: An explosion of the test tube.

Which was EXACTLY what happened.

"BANG!!!"

I saw the curved end of the test, tube, less than 1cm inlength, shoot past my face as if firedwith a compressor.
I was stunned and shocked at the sound, and dumbly watched the remaining glass splinters skitter past my feet.

Eternity passed. I recovered enough to turn around. My wide eyes met with 41 pairs of eyes looking in my direction.

At first I thought the explosion came from the other end of the lab. Then i saw Stephanie still holding the test tube holder with only the middle portion of the test tube.

Mrs Lee came over, kept shouting are u all rite? are u all rite. At first she thought it was me. so she asked what did u do?

I opened my mouth, trying to form audible sounds. Failing that, i dumbly shook my head.

20 seconds later, someone (i tink its yeeting or qianyu) noticed my arm was bleeding.

I didn't feel any pain at all. the glass must have nicked me so thinly and quickly as it spun past me that i din notice.

ALL because of 1 dead moth. Thank God I'm still fine and it wasn't acid or something worse that exploded. and thank God my face was turned away.

This is a warning to all Chemistry students: Be careful in the Lab at all times.

You didn't hear that? Let me repeat:

BE CAREFUL IN THE LABORATORY AT ALL TIMES!!!

DUN ASSUME U ARE SAFE JUZ BECOZ U ARE NOT DOING ANY EXPERIMENTS, REMEMBER, ACCIDENTS HAPPEN ANYTIME, ANY WHERE, AND TO ANYONE.

Adios.

2006-04-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(DEEP BREATH)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE LOST DEBATE AGAIN!!!!!
TO HUGHES!!!

I can't believe it.

we worked so hard like shit and cooperated so well, unlike hughes which kept bickering among themselves and were not proactive.

This whole this is SO UNFAIR to us, THE OPPOSITION right from the start.

Firstly the motion "That corporal punishment is the only answer to juvenile delinquency" is biased and unfair when debated in a school in which coporal punishment is almost an instituition. I have a feeling that they set the motion just to give some pretense that students could freely give opinions and to be judged fairly when the outcome has already been decided beforehand.

Also, the adjudicators. With them being Mrs Tobias, Mrs Ong and Ms Ow, how do you expect them not to support coporal punishment? To me, they are already strongly in favour of the proposition because of their mindsets in the age old belief of spare the rod, spoil the child. Thus, the debate is already strongly leaning in favour of our opponents. If the English Department really wanted a fair debate, they should have set a motion that did not involve the adjudicators or the school system in such a direct method.

Then, external circumstances as well. Before the debate, the school JUST had to carry out the caning, which would only further help the proposition's case by reinforcing the belief that coporal punishment is good. then the Proposition said that we could not debate about the alternative methods, only pros and cons of CP.

A series of mistakes on our part during the debate weakened us further, but the most babaric thing was yet to come.

It was just after the 2-minute interval for all debators to confer. i was busy recollecting myself after being bombarded by points from all my other debators. I did not rush as in the schedule, we still had a 5 minute floor debate, which would give me time to organise my reply speech.

HOWEVER, HORROR OF HORRORS.

They cancelled the floor debate, now they introduced me, and flustered and not fully ready yet, i went up.

I freaked out. I don;t like not having sufficient time to prepare, so when i went up, i blanked out. The proposition reply speaker, at least had time to prepare a bit and even ticked me off by saying I was not supposed to rebut in reply. Goodness, i did NOT REBUT!!!! I merely reiterated the vital flaws.

So in the end, we were humiliated. At first i was about to think we won because Constance got best speaker. then chairperson announced, the winner is Hughes.

My heart SANK....simply SAAAAANKkkkkk.................

All the hard work had failed. Plus error on our part, as we were not supposed to talk about alternatives as the motion said 'not THE answer', not 'not THE ONLY answer'

I think if only, we had realised this lethal mistake, if only there was a floor debate, if only I hadn't chosen Opposition when drawing lots, none of this would have happened.

This is so damn irritating and depressing.

By the way, for those interested, these are the rest of the debate info.

Proposition: Hughes

1st: Zainul

2nd: Tongpei(reply)

3rd: Khunying

Opposition: Auden

1st ME (reply)

2nd:Constance

3rd: Benjamin

That's all i wish to say. I'll be burning the debate research now. Fire has a theurapetic effect on me, very calming.

The phoenix burns tonight
Bright and glorious, fiery end
To ashes in the fading light
Black, lifeless and flaky sand

Then as sweet dawn breaking,
charred dust leaps into flame
Rejuvenating, reviving, restoring
fiery phoenix back from shame

Phoenix, phoenix burning bright
come from ashes back to light

2006-04-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

Wah...today got 2.4 km run for the NAFA test.....so i'm feeling very shag now...but still blogging

i got third in position with a time of 11 minutes 12 seconds. i lost to Ivan as expected by 1.5 minutes or so and lost to Baoxian by 6 seconds, which i also expected. I had'nt been training for a VERY long time, and Baoxian trains everyother day, so i expected to lose.

Steady lah...with 11.16 i don't noe what my grade is but i'm not really concerned.
My stamina also dropped so much, the result of skipping too many PTs.....
that's the trouble of being CCA head, no time to do physical training.

I nearly vomited when cheonging past Si Hao in last 100m, the unfortunate result of eating curry beforehand.

This is the rest of the class positions as far as i can remember.

1. Ivan
2. Baoxian
3. ME
4. Si Hao
5. Elwyn
6. Zainul
7. Ryan
8. Tongpei
9. Michelle Ma
10. Tan Yee Ting
11. Cynthia
12. Junkai
13. Yan Lin
14. Jun Kai?
15 onwards. ???
41. Moses Lee
42. Shuqian (didn't run)

Thats all for 2.4. Fastest for sec 4 is Yongcheng aka bold, DEhydrated hunk. (or should be)

Debate Finals are coming soon, hope Auden wins!!!

Good Friday in two days...PTL!!!!!!!

2006-03-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

YESSSS.....RTC'S OVERRRRRRRR!!!!!!

Last major thing to do before stepping down is done, now can start to relax liao

But seriously, RTC was so fun, every hour tekan the recruits until two fell sick, booted out of camp.

this year's batch of Sec1s are quite mentally, emotionally and physically weak. kena bully a bit then cry liao...tsktsk...then, also not disciplined at all, dun have respect for seniors....but not entirely their fault, they are influenced by other cadets who also dun respect us....

During RTC, Shaoyong was like seroiusly sadistic, even scared them during Nightwalk pretending to be dying, possessed or (i like dis) suffering from serious asthma. one of my trainees later told me, 'Ar, CSM ? i think you better check on the, um, pimple faced guy, he like cannot breathe like that, wan to die ar??'

See what i mean? They cannot even address their CSM and Sargeant properly....

i was doing messing, then always got pissed off, they never clean up their mess and during Outdoor Cooking, were so unruly. last day cannot take it liao, so pumped them more that usual lah...

i did some evaluation last week after camp, and i realised my CCA Days were numbered.

next saturday, 25 march has no parade due to Parent's Day

Next, next saturday, April Fools' no parade because got BB Competition(which thankfully i'm not in)

Next,next, next Saturday got parade, then immediately close session to study for exams.

open session in June, we hand over and step down

So, simply put.......

I
ONLY
HAVE
1
MORE
PARADE
TO
ATTEND
FOR
THE
REST
OF
THIS
YEAR!

YYYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally can get some well-deserved rest....after slogging so hard..

Ahhhhhh............

2006-03-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

this is my last chance to blog before my RTC until Saturday, so I'd better do it....

Really, i don't noe wad to expect during RTC....I suppose I'll let Shao Yong run the show...after all he planned it....

I'm in charge of messing, and precious little else...I think I'll just oversee everything...

Any way, here's todays special.......(3,2,1...)

so sorry, no special todae....got to wait until after RTC. no time liao....

for hardcore tolkien junkies out there, i'll be back with more LOTR crap soon....dun miss it.

wish me luck!!!!

2006-03-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

hello people........

well, i said i'll be blogging todae rite? so, here i am, at 2311 hrs, blogging.

the remembrance of last year's OBS course still lingers in me head.....ah, we had such fun!

I still remember, there were 6 Zhonghuarians in my watch, besides me there was Gary, Weisheng, Min Shian, Fiona and (whos the last guy...) mervyn....

our instuctor was the best....knew how to control and discipline us well...... name was Iskandar, we know him as IS.
Below is a pic of us at bukit puaka summit, the highest point of pulau ubin, from which we could see the panoramic view of Singapore. we reached that narrow space protuding over a cliff by bashing through sub forest terrain and following a narrow steep path up.

Below us is a quarry which we swam in later....a priveledge only my watch had.....more about that later.

Talk about swimming in forbidden pools.......

PS. pic cannot be uploaded...will try again tml.bye!

2006-03-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

heyyy.....finally blogging again. So sorry folks....kept y'all waiting so loooong...

anyway, for those diehard fans of Tolkien and LOTR(like me!), i've something nostalgic today.....

this is one of my favourite poems in the book, about the former glory and hope of restoring the kingdom of the Dwarves....enjoyy....

The world world was young,
the mountains green,
No stain yet on the Moon was seen,
No words were laid on stream or stone,
When Durin woke and walked alone.
He named the nameless hills and dells;
He drank from yet untasted wells;
He stooped and looked in Mirrormere,
And saw a crown of stars appear,
As gems upon a silver thread,
Above the shadow of his head.

The world was fair,
the mountains tall,
In Elder Days before the fall
Of mighty Kings in Nargothrond
And Gondolin,
who now beyond
The Western Seas have passed away:
The world was fair in Durin's Day.

A king he was on carven throne
In many-pillared halls of stone
With golden roof and silver floor,
And runes of power upon the door.
The light of sun and star and moon
In shining lamps of crystal hewn
Undimmed by cloud or shade of night
There shown forever far and bright.

There hammer on the anvil smote,
There chisel clove, and graver wrote;
There forged was bladed and bound was hilt;
The delver mined the mason built.
There beryl, pearl, and opal pale
And metel wrought like fishes' mail,
Buckler and corslet, axe and sword,
And shining spears were laid in horde.

Unwearied then were Durin's folk;
Beneath the mountains music woke:
The harpers harped, the minstrels sang,
And at the gates the trumpets rang.

The world is grey, the mountains old,
The forge's fire is ashen-cold;
No harp is wrung, no hammer falls:
The darkness dwells in Durin's halls;
The shadow lies upon his tomb
In Moria, in Khazad-dûm.
But still the sunken stars appear
In dark and windless Mirrormere;
There lies his crown in water deep,
Till Durin wakes again from sleep.

nice rite??? its so inspiring...Gimli sang this while looking into the mirrormere, where Durin the Deathless, father of all Dwarves, came into his inheritance....btw, let me juz say i got this from www.tolkien.cro.com for copyrite's sake..

byeee...

2006-02-20T22:09:00.000+08:00

The Misery of TESTS

I flunked all my tests!!!!!!!!

First rite, for A Maths i got C5 and 23/40 overall.....so siann....even GKY win me....
Junkai scored full marks...how can he do that? its like hes some maths genius. Really did badly, but fortunately i don't have the unfortunate pleasure of meeting Mrs Koh early Wed morning...thats reserved for the failures. Still, i aren't quite in her good books....she might just force me to join.

Then, Chemistry. i got 21\42, a just pass, and found to my horror that i COULD HAVE GOTTEN 13 MARKS MORE if not due to extreme CARELESSNESS...... most mistakes were calculation errors that were so obvious. Could have gotten a 34 but guess i was to hurried, overconfident and complacent when i did the paper.

i'm going to have a real busy week this week, CCA from tuesday to Saturday.....and tons of other stuff to do.
on a hindnote, today I read sth interesting in the newspaper. it said:

98 OUT OF 100 SINGAPOREANS OWN MOBILE PHONES

I'M ONE OF THE OTHER TWO THAT DON'T.

anyone kind enuf to buy me one???????Hahas

2006-02-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

It's been a rollercoaster of emotions for me this past three days.....let me just start from the beginning....

SATURDAY, 6.30 PM

Todays fellowship has just ended, and I'm happily kicking ball with the rest outside. I'm supposed to go for a youth committee meeting at 7.30, but I assume that its to discuss future planning of fellowships. He didn't come today, which is surprising, as he always does. Ten minutes later, I quit and go to cool down before the meeting starts.

SATURDAY, 7.45 PM

I meet with the three advisors and Ethel, Ting An, Niujin, Nicole and Jason Yong in the nursery. Chairs are set and we wait patiently for Pastor Tham to arrive. At this point, i sense something amiss. Where was he?

Saturday 7.46 PM

Pastor comes in and we fall deathly quiet. His first words send us in shock and dumbfoundedness. He said, "I've bad news for you. He has been...dismissed...for insubordination."

I reel from the news. My perfect world comes crashing down.

SATURDAY 8.30, PM

He xplained things to our shocked selves clearly and firmly. We could not believe what we've heard. As the meeting adjournes, I ask for a word with Pastor, the content of which i'll not divulge here.

SUNDAY 1.15 AM

Emotionally drained, i drifted into troubled sleep, spent.

SUNDAY 8.45 AM

I share my views with nicole, and ditto for her. We are both sombre, dreading when Senior Pastor will tell the church today. Most of the youth are still unaware, and i listen to their bubbly conversation soberly. i couldn't worship well today. Kenneth talks with me and clears my remaining doubts.

SUNDAY 2.00 PM

After a long while, Senior Pastor breaks the news to everyone. Many of us are overcome with tears, and for some the reality just hasn't settled in. From now onwards, Jaime and Pastor Tham will take over the youth ministry.

Its Monday today, and we still are in shock, some of us. there is sadness and shock. the fear and uncertainty over the future is palpabe. i admit i'm also at a loss now, wondering how will the youth survive now. i guess the only thing to do now is trust the Lord that he has us safe in His arms, and will carry us through this difficult time. all this has just shown that we cannot put our trust in the most godly of our spiritual leaders. we can only put our hope and trust in CHRIST alone, for man is still imperpect and sinful.

He has done a lot for the youth, and sometimes we take for granted. we've just lost a dear brother, mentor and friend, who, despite his leadership, is still imperfect. During this time of uncertainity, the LoRD reminds me of this hymn, which incidentally, we sang on saturday:

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
know his power
in quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with you
above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
i will be still and know
You are God

"trust in the LoRD with all you heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will straighten your path"

2006-02-11T15:22:00.000+08:00

Parade again today, as usuall, i calculated about only 10 more parades to go before close session, so for all of us its nearly time to take a break. For those who don't know i have a blog, well, now you knoww, and now you must link me or else i'll bug you to death.......

Don't worry, tagboard will be up soon and hopefully, music. Hope you lyk my blogskin, its really very nice.....

BB today was well, rather routine, though i drilled sec 1s like mad. So did my eputy, whom i have lost hope in. its really difficult now o see him change, and i'll suppose he'll hate me until we reconcile in Heaven, but, he keeps turning down my offers of peace, so what can i do? i'm not saying he's right or wrong, but i just wish he'll treat me better.

At least now he's getting back his old interest for BB, even slightly. i guess BB was'nt for him in the first place. He still quarrels with me and does things independent of my approval or knowledge, and ther's always this bitterness and hatred i sense in his voice every time he snaps at me.( it seems he only talks by snapping or barking at me, so he's lyk a ,um, hissing turtle??nvm...)

Haizz....life is full of trials and tribulations, but then again, many of life's blessings and most meaningful lessons God disguises as pain and suffering. perhaps you would disagree, but suffering is one of the best teachers around.

....signing off now, going for youth and soccer later.....YESS!!!!!!
BYEEEEE.............................. :)

2006-02-01T21:45:00.000+08:00

Waaaahhhhhh siannnxxx....i'm damn pissed today lor...a certain someone doesn't have the proper respect for his superiors....its like...he broke schoolrules in the teachers and my face todae lorrr....so angryyy

never mind, i'm still keeping my cool(more or less) but this will happen again, i'm so sure about it...

..late for two consecutive days lorr, dunno why cannot wake up, juz feeling tired all day..

so kena two detention already lor. write until so tired liao..hands dropping off

i think i'll have a very unusual track record...about 10 demerits, 7 detentions and stellar sucess in cca and academic results....i'm very hard to predict, i guess...

need to sleep noww...so bye bye, or else i late again.....

2006-01-18T23:12:00.000+08:00

Heyy....finally blogging after a loooooooong while...anyway, back to today, had 6 solid hours of Add Math and Chemistry...now want to 'toh' already. Franky speaking, peer tutoring is useless, i mean most ppl noe how to do the questions, so why is there a need to do this to uss?
Then Mrs Lim postponed the test to tomorrow, after i slogged last night studying... had a total of 2 chem periods and 5 A MAths periods, so its like , my brian was overheating but i still forced myself to stay another 1.5 hours to complete homeworkk.....burnt out now liao...bye bye...

2005-08-01T17:35:00.000+08:00

Well, its been a very hectic week for me, that is, the last week. There were so many tests and homework that I ended up sleeping at midnight and waking up at 0525 hours everyday. Apart from that, my duties as company sargeant major of zhss 48 Boys Brigade Company kept me on my feet 24/7 (okay, thats a bit extreme). Furthermore, the annual Bible Quiz competition was on saturday and we had to have frantic preparation with our officers. Not that everyone's been fantastic to me last week either. some of my peers seem disgruntled with me for some reason.

However our efforts paid off on saturday when after 7 hours of intense competition with 92 other teams from 53 different BB Companies, my team managed to emerge 4th in national level. I got a sense of deja vu because the top four placings for Bible quiz this year were the same as last year's. 1st in place was BB from Victoria, followed by ACS, RI and us, Zhonghua. I was rather disappointed as i was aiming for the championship this year but the other three schools are too strong. There's always next year, though.

We are getting our prizes tomorrow in front of the school. Me, Chewbacca, Weeliang and AKX were the winning team. the other team was Jrtt, Drew, Raman and Rayson. Getting 4th position twice is rather a let down, i must say. Better be contented with what i have though.

sian.......back to school life again.......

*Simply Misunderstood*

Simply Misunderstood